The Villain Wrangler
by lil'hawkeye3
Summary: When a sick child asks to meet a villain (instead of a celebrity or superhero like with most wishes), someone's got to have the guts to track these wanted individuals down. It's not as easy as one would think. And what's there to worry about: they're all big softies anyways... right?
1. Budding Idea

**Aye, mortals! So this fic comes from a prompt on tumblr from a few months ago, but I was just recently convinced to write about. If you want to see it, just Google "The Villain Wrangler" and it'll come up. All of the main ideas behind this comes from the wonderful people who contributed to that post, I just put my own spin on it to weave everything together. Oh, and any character you recognize (i.e. DC characters) aren't mine. Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

Danny Johnson stared blankly at the screen in front of him. Earlier, his reaction had been due to shock, but that had faded away by this point. Sadly, that didn't mean the contents of the email displayed on his laptop were any different.

 _5 year old girl… Melody Waters…. Wants to show Poison Ivy her succulent garden… terminal cancer… a few months…_

It wasn't the fact that the girl had cancer or how young she was, but more the fact that her 'World of Wishes' wish revolved around a notorious- and wanted- villainess in Gotham that surprised Danny. This job wasn't new to him, but he'd never heard of anything like this happening before.

"Kids are strange," he muttered, rubbing his palm against his forehead. How was he going to give this child what she wanted the most?

His search began online, scouring enthusiast forums and potentially illegal sites alike to find any word of where one might come across the green woman. He ignored any stories that reminded him of her criminal actions; none of that mattered after the point he learned of the wish he was sent to fulfill.

That was how he found himself seated in Gotham Park every night near the botanic enclosure for a week in the hopes of catching Ivy. The first three nights had passed without events, the fourth night Danny could've sworn a figure was watching him from the trees, and the last two had seen drunk individuals stumble along the paved walkways. He was hoping this final night would grant him the opportunity he had been waiting for; if not, he would search for another idea.

The feeling of something wrapping around his ankle snapped him out of his thoughts to leave him meeting the emerald gaze of the person he was looking for. Poison Ivy raised an eyebrow in question as she sat on the other end of his bench, watching his with a dangerous glint in her eyes.

"You're quite persistent," she hummed, pursing her lips and reaching one hand towards his face. "Kept me from visiting my babies for several days, you naught b-" She was cut off as Danny grabbed her wrist and smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Ivy, but I need to ask you something and I'm racing against a deadline," he said, tensing himself for an altercation.

"Make that two now." Her warning was clear, and yet it didn't faze him the slightest. He reached into the pocket of his trenchcoat and pulled out a folded packet of papers all revolving around wisher Melody Waters: her past and current picture, her wish statement, details on her sickness, and a drawing she had made of Poison Ivy. Danny handed them all over to the woman, who took them questioningly.

"My name is Danny Johnson and I work for the 'World of Wishes' foundation. Last week, a terminally ill 5 year-old girl named Melody asked to meet you so she could show you the small garden of succulents she has been caring for in her hospital room. She _adores_ you." He smiled as he saw Ivy ruffle through the papers confirming what he said. "I'm here to ask if you'd come in to see her at Gotham Central."

He watched as she glanced between him and the papers she held several times before chuckling humorlessly. "I'll give you points for effort, Mister Johnson, but your time is up." Even with the vines now wrapping around both his legs and his chest, Danny found her theatrics slightly ridiculous. "Why are you really here? Was it the Commissioner or the Bat?"

He knew he shouldn't, but Danny couldn't keep his annoyance down. "Look, Ivy, the only damn reason I am here is because a dying little girl's biggest wish is to show you her own plants. I don't care what the hell you do the other 364 days this year, but that other day is going to be spent in Melody's hospital room in the next week!"

The two sat in silence for several minutes following his outburst. Danny wasn't really sure what to expect, but seeing as the vines constricting his movement has stopped creeping upwards, he felt optimistic. In an attempt to not be rude by staring, Danny turned his sights on their surroundings until she spoke.

"Well, I must make sure those poor darlings are being cared for correctly," Ivy finally answered, flicking her wrist to remove Danny's natural constraints. "I'll be there; won't tell you when- can't take too many risks."

"Understandable."

"You'd best be on your way then, Mister Johnson. Not all of the night life in Gotham is as nice as I am." With that, Ivy rose from the bench and began to walk away down the flower-lined path, stopping every so often to lean down and stroke the blooming plants.

Danny let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in before shaking his head and wandering off towards his apartment.

* * *

The first day passed with Danny working from home, going through his usually task of writing to celebrities and corporations on the behalf of other children and their wishes. It was nice to pretend that he hadn't had a chat with an infamous temptress the previous night.

The universe didn't seem to share the same sentiment. He had only been out of the room for 10 minutes to take a shower- 15 at most- before walking in with a towel wrapped around his waist to find Poison Ivy seated on his couch, aimlessly flipping through TV channels with his remote.

Danny opened his mouth to say something and wasn't proud with what actually came out. "What the hell?!" His face flushed in embarrassment as she coolly glanced over.

"What channel number is National Geographic?"

Danny blinked several times as he processed her question. "Uh… try 615...ish," he replied lamely, before shaking his head several times to clear it. "No- wait- what are you doing here?!"

Ivy stared ahead at the television as it showed scenes of some foreign rainforest. "Needed a way to contact you. Brought you a burner with my number in it."

"That's… thoughtful."

She finally looked over at him and smiled. "Of course. And, I'll be giving you a five-minutes heads up before I arrive."

"Thanks…"

Ivy ignored him as she stood and began to make her way towards his door. "You're leaving out the front?" He asked, surprised.

The redhead looked at him incredulously. "You're 19 stories up; did you think I came in through your window?" With a parting wink and smile, Ivy walked out of the apartment and shut the door behind her, leaving an exasperated Danny behind.

* * *

"Johnson!" Danny looked up from the burner phone Ivy gave him and sighed as he saw his boss stalking towards him, arms crossed. She glared at him over the top of her glasses. "What do you think you're playing at?" Her heels clicked menacingly against the floor as she stopped in front of him.

He chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. "I'm not sure what you mean." No, he knew exactly what she meant, and the twitch of her eyebrow confirmed what was coming.

"Telling a sick child that she'd get to meet _Poison Ivy?!_ I don't pay you to make up this crap. You honestly think some evil plant bitch would show up-"

Her eyes grew wide as a vine wrapped around her mouth, effectively cutting of her rant. Danny did his best to keep a professional face and not laugh, but a few snickers managed to sneak out at the sight of goosebumps appearing on her upper arms after Ivy ran her hands on them.

"Danny, you didn't say there would be any weeds here…" she murmured, brushing a strand of the woman's brown hair out of her face. Danny could see her trembling and decided it would probably be best to stop it before something bad happened.

"Ivy, I think Melody's ready to see you…" He said, gesturing behind him towards the girl's hospital room in an attempt to redirect her attention. Thankfully, it worked. Ivy sighed reluctantly before removing her hold on his boss and moving to stand beside him, ignoring the woman as she half-walked, half-ran back down the hall. "Alright, rules: no attacking anyone, no offering to kill anyone, and no killing her garden." The redhead looked offended that he would even ask that, but didn't comment. "I guess we can go in, then."

The light that came into Melody's eyes when she looked up from her crayon drawing to see Poison Ivy walk through her door would stay with him forever. She squealed and wiggled to sit up further, smiling so brightly it was almost blinding. It was amusing to see her joy contrasted by the fear on the faces of her parents and the doctors in the room.

"They told me you weren't gonna come!" She said happily as Ivy took her tiny hand in hers. "But I knew you would!"

Danny could tell the smile on Ivy's face was real. "I just had to come see my little flower." She sat down on her bed and asked to see Melody's drawings, prompting a flurry of conversation from the girl.

"Um… excuse me, mister," Melody's mother said, speaking softly to not interrupt her daughter's focus. Danny looked down at her curiously; she had tears welling up in her eyes. "I haven't seen her this lively in so long. Whatever you did to find her," she glanced over her shoulder towards the villainess, " _thank you._ "

That was the moment Danny knew he would continue to do whatever it took to fulfill any child's wish, no matter what.

So the next day, when he received a request from a child wanting to meet Captain Cold, he did what anyone would do: pour himself a strong drink and start searching online for the rogue's favorite bar.


	2. Cool Demeanor

Danny might've been cringing internally as the man's head was slammed against the ground, but he managed to smirk outwardly and raise his glass towards the winner of the match. The rough crowd roared its approval at the win, especially those who had bet on the victor. From his spot seated at the bar, he could see several unhappy fellows being led from the building by some menacing men; he didn't want to dwell on that. After all, he didn't want to call any attention to himself on his third night here- the rogue he was looking for had yet to arrive.

 _Hayden Paine, nine, aggressive osteosarcoma originating from right leg, wants to meet Captain Cold because 'freeze rays are awesome.'_

It had taken a lot of digging- and a few bribes to some teenagers hanging out on the streets in Central City- before he first located the bar that doubled as an underground fight club. Cold had been seen there at least three times before, and that was good enough for Danny. He hoped his trip to the city wouldn't be a waste, although the journey wasn't too much of a hassle; the boy who had requested to see Cold was currently in the neighboring Keystone City.

Danny looked up from his drink to see the man himself enter the pub, taking a seat at the far end of the bar. He tried to ignore the nervous lurch his stomach gave. "Gimme the usual," he heard the rogue say to the bartender, who gave the same sharp nod to him as he did to everyone else. Once the server turned away, Danny grabbed his file and approached Cold. The light glinted off of Cold's dark glasses as he tilted his head slightly to look at him.

"Captain Cold," he began, grimacing at his lame entrance, "my name is Danny Johnson and I'm from 'World of Wishes.' The other day, a boy with aggressive bone cancer named Hayden requested to meet you-"

Although Danny hadn't been sure what to expect, he sure didn't think the rogue would laugh in his face. Something inside Danny snapped, and he saw red as he lashed out and grabbed Cold by the collar of his jacket, pulling him forward so that their eyes were at the same level.

"Look, _jackass,_ for some reason, all this kids wants more than anything is to see you and your frickin' freeze gun, so I'd appreciate it if you'd SHUT your GODDAMNED MOUTH and listen to me for your fan's sake!"

The room was silent.

Danny panted angrily as he came down from his rant, only now noticing that he had drawn everyone's attention onto the two of them. He was pretty sure if Cold had laser vision, he'd be fried by now.

"Rogues do not harm women or children. You are neither."

The rogue firmly removed Danny's hand from his jacket and stood up, snatching the file from him. As a heavy hand clamped down on his shoulder and began forcefully guiding him towards the door, Danny was sure this would be his last night in existence.

His walk of dread halted after the two had walked several blocks, heading towards a more run-down section of Central City. Cold roughly shoved him into a dark alley, and Danny winced as his infamous freeze gun was drawn and leveled at him. However, the sound of it firing and him being able to move afterwards didn't add up. He looked up to see Cold had spun around and frozen a pair of thugs who, he inferenced, had been following them for not-so-pleasant reasons.

Cold grunted. "Had to lead them somewhere unseen. Besides, I've got a reputation to keep that _you_ almost destroyed back there." Danny was sure he was being glared at now. "So what the hell did you want?" Danny wordlessly held out Hayden's file in response, exhaling in relief when Cold took it and began to flip through the pages. "Is this some sort of joke?"

"You think any normal person would go through the struggle to find you for some prank?"

"I don't hang around 'normal people.'"

Danny huffed, but admitted the man had a point. "It's not a joke. I take my job seriously; the happiness of these kids means a lot to me." He shrugged. "You might enjoy it too- Poison Ivy did." He shook his head to refocus himself. "Point is, this kid idolizes you and wants to meet you. What would you lose from visiting him?"

"Ask yourself that when the cops show up. Or worse, that damned speedster."

He'd thought of this one already. "Then visit him during the nighttime, outside of regular hours." Neither said anything for several minutes, but Danny was patient. Not to lie, he was also mentally praying to every deity he could think of for Cold to say yes.

The rogue turned away, and began to walk out of the alley. "Midnight, tomorrow; side door of Keystone Medical. You're not there, your loss." Cold turned the corner and disappeared, file still in hand.

Danny considered it a success.

* * *

It was 11:55pm when Captain Cold had the back entrance to Keystone's main hospital opened for him.

"I wasn't about to let you break the lock on a _hospital's_ door," Danny chuckled as the man walked into the building. His eyes went directly to the suspicious sack the criminal was carrying, but decided against asking about it. "This way- he's on the fourth floor. I told his nurse to have him awake about ten minutes ago."

Cold didn't really care- he was just glad that there was no music playing in the elevator as they rode it up. "Come on, then."

Danny held out an arm to stop him. "First: ground rules." Cold sighed in annoyance. "No attacking or using weapons on people, no swearing, no hypothermia. Got it?" He took his silence to be affirmative. "Good." Danny glanced into the bright room. "Hey, Hayden." The two men entered the room, the boy's attention already on them.

Hayden gasped in delight. "You really came!" He cried excitedly, rolling his wheelchair over to rest in front of his 'hero.' "You're the best! Like ice is so cool and then you went and made a freeze-ray-gun that's better than Mr. Freeze's and it's okay that you steal stuff because you're actually nice and don't hurt a bunch of people and you have cool glasses too can I try them on?" Danny tried to stifle a laugh at the bemused look on Cold's face as the boy delightedly rambled.

"Don't go telling everyone that," he said gruffly, contrasting his action of taking off his goggles and bending down to put them on Hayden. Danny decided the two would be fine and moved outside to keep watch from the hallway.

It was a good thing he did. Several minutes later, a red blur came bursting from the stairwell and skidding to a halt in front of the hospital room, a delayed breeze brushing against Danny's skin as he recognized the arrivee to be none other than the Flash.

 _Oh no._ Nobody was going to get involved in _his_ 'World of Wishes' child's meeting. He quickly but quietly shut the door, cutting of both of their view's of the room. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

The Flash gaped at him, but Danny didn't budge. "Are you crazy?! Captain Cold's in there with a child! You have to let me in to-"

Danny raised an eyebrow. "To what? Save him? I think you're forgetting, the Rogues don't harm women or children. Try again."

The speedster's eyes narrowed slightly. "Cold is a criminal, and I need to take him in-"

"Cold is not doing anything illegal, and is in fact fulfilling a child's wish right now. You can continue your… disagreement with him some other time."

The superhero apparently had enough, for he blurted out an apology before speeding around Danny, opening the door, and running into the room. Hayden, who had been laughing in amazement after a display of Captain Cold's gun on a water bottle next to his bed, quieted as the two turned to face their uninvited guest. Cold subtly inched his way to stand in front of the boy.

"Flash."

"Cold."

"Why is the Flash here? I like Captain Cold better, that's why I asked for him," Hayden muttered in confusion. His comment drew an astonished and slightly hurt look from the Flash.

"Alright, Mister… Flash," Danny said coolly. "A word outside, it you please." His gaze gave no room for discussion, and the hero found himself complying with the request, albeit reluctantly. Once the door was shut again, Danny rounded on him. "As far as I'm concerned, the only one causing a problem here is you. I'm only going to ask you one more time: _leave._ "

The Flash had never heard so much venom in a civilian's voice when aimed at him, and had especially never seen one standing up for a villain. He couldn't help but admit the other man was right though; Cold wasn't doing anything wrong that he could tell. With one last look at Danny, he sped out of the hospital.

* * *

 _I know this chapter isn't exactly 'Batman universe,' but the following chapters will be heavily, don't you worry_


	3. Pop!

"Alright, you have _got_ to stop breaking into my apartment!" Danny huffed in frustration as he entered the room to find Ivy once again lounging on his couch, leaning back against its arm. She cracked one eye open to look at him.

"You didn't mention you were leaving town," she countered.

Danny sighed, not even wanting to bother with starting an argument. He dropped his bags beside the door and headed towards the kitchen, keen on eating after his flight. He nodded a hello to the blonde sitting on his counter as he fetched a glass from the cabinet and poured himself some water from the faucet. He turned back around, raising the cup to his lips, and then finally process what he had already seen.

There was a blonde woman sitting on his counter.

Danny set his glass down before he dropped it in shock.

The woman must've read his read his reaction and found it hilarious, because she began to laugh. "Nice to meet yah, mistah! Name's Harley; maybe yah've heard of me?" She smiled excitedly.

Danny opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. His stare turned into a glare as he stalked out of the room to confront the eco-terrorist relaxing in his living room. "Excuse me, but who let you bring your friend in here?!"

She didn't bother to open her eyes. "I did."

"It's not your apartment!"

"You never told me not to."

"Oh- why don't you go- eat a plant!"

"Gladly. I'm a vegetarian."

"Then- eat fried chicken!"

 _Gasp._ "I would NEVER!"

Danny crossed his arms and huffed in joint annoyance and anger, determined to look anywhere but at Ivy. His gaze ended up settling on Harley curiously. She was wearing gray sweatpants with a black and red bra showing from under her open brown bomber jacket.

"What?" Her eyebrow raised challengingly. "It's cold out."

Danny just nodded mutely. Harley took his silence as agreement and widely smiled.

"Ivy was tellin' me all about the kid she got to visit, so we stopped by after we saw that little girly." Danny mentally groaned; he knew this wouldn't be the last time he heard about that. "Say, do you know if there are any kiddies who've got a good appreciation for jokes?"

"Um… Ms. Quinn…"

She waved her hand nonchalantly. "Quinzel."

"-what?'

The blonde laughed. "It's "Ms. Quinzel;" well, it's actually "Dr. Quinzel," but tomato, tomahto!"

"Right…" Danny blinked a few times before he remembered what he had been saying. " _Dr. Quinzel,_ I haven't received any requests for you yet, but if I do I'll- goddamnit!" He swore as his phone interrupted him this time. He turned away from the villainess and answered the call in a clipped tone. "Yes?"

" _This is all your fault, Johnson; I am going to make you regret ever finding that plant woman, now I've got some girl asking about a clown lady-"_

Danny couldn't help himself from snickering as he glanced at Harley in amusement. "Don't worry, I can reach her easily. Just text me the info." It satisfied him that he could hang up on her for once. "Harley, some powerful being must really like you because your wish was just granted."

Harley jumped off the counter with an excited cheer and cartwheeled out of the kitchen. "Ivy! I got a bite-sized fan, too!"

Ivy reluctantly opened her eyes to view her hyperactive friend. "Congratulations." She winced as Harley squealed and jumped on top of her, giving her a hug.

"I can't wait!"

Danny sighed. "I can," he muttered.

* * *

 _A note to the guest individual who tried to call me out about Ivy being "canonialy [sic] very much not a vegetarian." Ivy is a bioterrorist. She would never eat meat, especially due to how much harm meat production causes the environment. Ivy does not like large-scale agriculture's impact because of the damage and suffering to plants it causes. And, she was seen to eat a salad with beet juice in BTAS... which is the category this story is in. Thank you!_


	4. Goes the Weasel

Maybe Harley wasn't so bad.

She was definitely a hassle, but as Danny watched her make a young terminal cancer patient laugh, he found himself quite proud of the woman. As he had been warned by her mother before bringing Harley in, the girl was at the age where she knew what was going to happen to her soon and had hardly smiled in weeks. And yet, Harley had thoroughly shattered that dry spell. It pains him when he has to call an end to the visit, but the girl's doctors need to administer another round of medicine.

He pretended not to hear Harley's stage-whispered parting words. "Don'tcha worry, honey; Harley'll be back real soon!" She grinned and waved excitedly as Danny led her out the door and to the elevator, the girl's giggles floating after them. He waited to speak until the elevator doors closed behind them.

"Harley?"

"Mhmm?"

"Don't get caught."

Her amused cackle drew a smile out of him as they traveled downwards.

* * *

Danny banged his head against the wall several times as he watched the news the next morning. _"...absolutely delighted to find the gifts when she woke up this morning, although it appears some of the items had been listed as stolen last night. However, when the shopkeepers were informed of where the toys had ended up, they were happy to know they had been taken for a good cause. One owner requested that, 'next time, that crazy clown lady just ask. I would've given it to her for that.'"_

Gotham had only one resident "crazy clown lady," and she was currently seated on his couch. He was glad that she at least looked somewhat guilty.

"Yah did only tell me not to get caught..." she muttered. Danny sighed. She was correct. It appeared he'd just have to be more explicit with ground rules next time.

"You know how I said 'no stealing' before we visited her?" She nodded. "Okay, well that now applies for after visits as well, as long as the items are going to a child. If you want to give them something, just ask me to request it as part of their 'wish.' Alright?"

"A-okay!"

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Is that all?" Apparently it wasn't, as she tossed a phone to him. He turned it over in his hands. "What's this for?"

Harley clapped her hands happily. "Burner! Just in case yah need lil' ol' Harley again!" She jumped up and skipped to the door.

Danny nodded slowly. "Thanks, Harley," he called after her as she left with a jaunty salute. Mentally exhausted, he shut of the television and lay down in the space she had just vacated on the couch, throwing an arm over his eyes to block out the light streaming through the windows. Maybe a few minutes shut-eye would help...

He was ready to chuck his phone out the window when it rang and interrupted the calm. "What now?!" He snapped.

 _"'What now?' Have you seen the news?! What the hell did that woman do?"_

"I did see the news, and apparently it's all okay. In fact, social media seems to find the action heartwarming," he deadpanned.

His boss huffed in frustration. _"Don't expect to clean up any mess you cause, Johnson."_

He rolled his eyes. "Do you have a new case for me, or is that all?"

 _"Chris Waters, 12. Double leg amputee. He wants to play a game of HALO with... Deadstroke? Deathshot? Doesn't matter. Just find the guy."_

"Don't you mean-" Danny stared incredulously at the ceiling as she hung up. "But... those are two different people?" He swore silently to himself. Two deadly assassins- what could go wrong? He needed to make a phone call. Harley, Ivy, or Cold? Danny chose a burner at random.

 _"What?"_ A hard voice demanded. Seems he called Cold.

"It's Danny. From-"

 _"Yeah, the crazy bastard from the bar. What do you want?"_

Danny ran a hand through his hair anxiously. "There's a kid asking to play video games with Deadshot or Deathstroke," he correctly stated their names. "Any chance you know where to find either?" There was a grunt on the other hand and a minute's worth of muffled conversation before the line became clear again.

 _"What the hell you want with Deadshot, mate?"_ A gruff Australian accent demanded. Danny's eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"Uh, a kid wants to play HALO with him. He recently had both legs amputated."

A bark of laughter came from the other end. _"Cold said you were insane, but he didn't say nothin' bout stupid."_

"Look, will you help or not?"

 _"Alright, alright. Place down near Crime Alley called the Iceberg Lounge. Run by seedy fat shit named Penguin,"_ the man spat out the name before returning to his annoyed demeanor. _"Deadshot stops by there when he's in town. He'll be expectin' you."_

Joy, another bar. But at least he had somewhere to start. "Thanks, mister," Danny said with genuine gratitude before he hung up.

 _"It's Boomerang, kid, and don't mention it."_


	5. Different Kind of D&D

The Iceberg Lounge was not merely a bar, Danny had come to realize as he sat at a table on the second floor of the establishment. The iceberg sculpture in the middle of the main floor alone made the place stand apart from other night clubs, let alone the fact that a well-dressed band was playing jazz on top of it. He had a feeling there was much more than just the restaurant, bar, and club area that was visible, seeing as the Rogue - Boomerang- had said Penguin owned the lounge. He wasn't stupid- almost all Gotham residents recognized his name as being behind some of the city's organized crime.

The man also had his connections, since it appeared he knew Danny would be coming. So, for the past two nights, he had been welcomed into the VIP second floor area, the disappointed whines of other guests floating up behind him. The bouncer merely nodded at Danny as he unlinked the red velvet rope before glaring at the few that tried to sneak past. Only those with permission were allowed in the "business" area.

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked up as he sensed someone approaching his secluded spot. It wasn't without some difficulty, but Danny managed to not widen his eyes too much at the sight of the heavily armed and armored individual that sat down across from him. The red-ish eye scope the man wore did nothing to mask the glare sent his way.

"Man, you must be some kind of stupid to be looking for people like us," Deadshot said point blank.

Danny merely sighed. "If I had a nickel for every time I've heard a version of that…" He flicked his fingers towards the sniper scope. "Reason for that?"

Deadshot's glare held steady. "Lesson 1: keep all eyes open when you're in this crowd, kid." His lips twitched upwards slightly. "There's over fifteen people here who could kill you in the next twenty seconds.

Fifteen? Danny counted quickly and could only spot eleven, which drew a snort from the mercenary when he voiced his findings. "Ain't that the point?" Deadshot asked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. "That Australian bitch said you wanted to find me. Start talking."

Danny rolled his eyes. "There's this kid, Chris; he's twelve. He had both legs amputated after some complications from a car accident the other week." He pushed the file in front of him across the table, watching with interest as the other man rifled through it. "He asked to play a round of HALO with you and Deathstroke." Danny didn't miss the fresh glare sent his way.

"I was right- you are some kind of stupid," Deadshot sneered. "On the off-chance you convince me, what's saying you'll get him to come too?"

Danny smiled innocently. "Oh, he already knows." He flicked his eyes towards the stairs. "You think I didn't know that he was the bouncer?" He crossed his arms. "Who else wears an eyepatch with their disguise?" Danny wasn't going to mention it had taken hours of internet searches and another call to Cold before his suspicions were confirmed.

It was silent for several moments before Deadshot began to chuckle; Danny watched the man in amusement. "I see what the others meant now."

"Others?"

The assassin looked up at him as he pulled out a pen and scribbled a number onto a bit of the folder he had torn off. "Congrats, kid, you're famous." He handed it over before standing and nodding slightly. "Contact me about when to show up."

 _Famous?_ Danny contemplated as Deadshot disappeared into the club. Fantastic. That was the last thing he wanted. But, if it helped with the new path his job was taking, he was fine with it. He pocketed the slip of paper and made his way out of the establishment as well. "See you on Thursday," he called over his shoulder at the bouncer (aka Deathstroke in disguise). The man's face remained blank, to Danny's amusement.

It took him until halfway through his drive home to realize that he hadn't been intimidated by either assassin. He wasn't sure whether or not that should worry him. Maybe he was going crazy.

When he walked into his apartment to find Harley and Ivy lounging on his couch again and called out a greeting to the women, he became positive that some of his screws were loose.

"Hiya, Danny!" Harley grinned. "We needed a place to relax for a while and whadya know, your place was close by!"

He raised an eyebrow and turned towards Ivy to get the full story. "Bats was on patrol and we decided to crash here for a few hours."

 _Yup._ That sounded right.

"Besides, now you get to finally meet our Kitty!"

"Your _wha-"_ Danny started to ask incredulously, but stopped short when he felt someone press up against his back and place their hands lightly on his shoulders.

"So this is the new specimen the underworld's raging about?" The woman purred, her nails pressing ever so slightly into him. Danny carefully detached himself and spun around to face the newcomer. His eyes widened as he found himself facing a woman covered only by a towel wrapped around her torso; the fabric, which he recognized as being his, barely reached the top of her thighs.

Danny crossed his arms in annoyance. "Is that my towel?" He asked rhetorically.

The black-haired beauty shrugged nonchalantly. "Don't worry; I used a clean one." She smirked and slipped back into the bathroom. He really hoped she had brought a change of clothes in there.

"I should just give you ladies your own keys," he said with a sigh, moving to sit next to Ivy.

"If you'd like to make this arrangement permanent, go ahead." She stared at the television in amusement as Harley flipped through the channels. "Who's the latest victim of your lovely visits?"

Danny tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling. "A pair of sassy assassins." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the slip of paper with Deadshot's number on it. "At least he didn't give me another burner…"

"Ooh! Nearly forgot," Harley said excitedly, reaching into a brown backpack that rested by her feet. "Selina got this encrypted cell for yah when I mentioned that yah had too many phones-" She was cut off abruptly by Ivy slapping a hand over her mouth.

"Harley!" The green woman hissed. Danny looked over to see Harley roll her eyes. "You weren't supposed to say her real name!"

"Sowwy?" She said from under Ivy's hand.

Danny coughed awkwardly to remind him that they were here. "If it makes you feel better, I can stick to calling her 'kitty.'"

"Your funeral!" The mentioned woman called from the other room.

* * *

In reality, his funeral came several days later as he escorted the pair of heavily armoured assassins into the long-term recovery ward of the hospital. Danny listed off the ever-expanding rules in place for these visits.

"No shooting real weapons, no purposefully intimidating hospital staff or family members, no answering questions about killing people, no swearing, no fighting. Got it?"

Deathstroke turned towards him; Danny was sure he was glaring under his mask. "This ain't my first rodeo, kid."

"It is with me, so deal with it," Danny shot back. He gave a tight smile to a visibly frightened nurse as they stopped in front of their visitee's door. "And remember, his name is Chris."

"Alright, alright," Deadshot grumbled. "Get lost." He opened the door and led the way into the room. "What's up, kiddo?" Danny heard him ask gruffly as Deathstroke followed him in. He caught a peek over their shoulders of Chris's eyes brightening in excitement at their arrival.

"Woah! I can't believe you both came!" He said happily, holding out controllers for both men to use. "The lady in charge couldn't get either of your names right, so I was worried they wouldn't be able to find you guys."

Deathstroke pulled over a chair to sit beside Chris. "Never miss the opportunity to show Deadshot over here who's the better man."

"Oh, you're gonna be eating your words soon, old man."

Actually, they both did. They may be the best assassins in the world, but Chris was a far better gamer than them.


	6. Hidden Clause

The next time the Gotham City Sirens showed up at his humble abode, Danny was actually expecting them. For once, he had invited the three women over.

To his surprise, Harley at least knocked before she came in (no breaking and entering necessary; he had left the door unlocked). He didn't even bother to fully turn and greet her, instead settling with holding up a ring with three separate keys on it. Harley excitedly squealed as she snatched it from him and held them up to the light so that they glinted and clanged together.

"Are these for us?" She asked rhetorically, clearly delighted that he had actually listened to their teasing. The other two peered over her shoulders to look at the gift.

"Well don't just stand there," Ivy prodded as she poked Harley in the side. "Hand them over."

Danny watched their interaction in mild amusement for several moments; by the time he interjected, each woman was in possession of their own apartment key. "Other than taking away any reason for you all to break my locks anymore… Selina, you've been requested by a young fangirl." He pretended to not notice her momentary shock that was quickly covered up by continuing to speak. "She's four and is recovering from some pretty severe burns. Her house burned down the other week," he elaborated.

"The poor thing," Selina murmured. There was a tinge of anxiousness in her voice that held an unverbalized fear: _what can I do to help?_

"Even though she's allergic, she loves cats," Danny added helpfully. "Like, love loves them."

Harley nudged her teasingly with her elbow. "Seems right up your alley, kitty." She was met with an unimpressed stare for the attempted pun, but merely shrugged and waltzed into the kitchen.

"You can do better," he called to her, smiling as innocently as possible towards Ivy and Selina as they turned their glares on him.

"Oh, hush," Catwoman sneered, although the action lacked any real malice. She glided over to the couch and sat down on it as far away from his as possible.

Danny snorted in derision. "Please; you still owe me for breaking into my apartment-"

Selina clicked her tongue. "Then that would make us even now."

"Uh-huh, you also used my shower and my towel. And my shampoo!"

The darker-haired woman sighed, clearly tired of his dramatics. "What, you expected me to use Ivy's 'all natural' mixtures? Sometimes a little bit of chemicals is good for you."

From the way Ivy rolled her eyes, it was clear that this argument was a usual occurrence in their trio. She remained standing by the kitchen door; Danny suspected it was to keep an eye on whatever Harley was doing. "Like I'm going to keep unnecessary toxins around her or my plants," the redhead muttered.

"Probably smart," Danny conceded. A comfortable silence settled between them, so Danny turned his attention back towards the television. He snickered under his breath as he heard Selina's complaints about him watching the news. To be honest, he had only started to watch it recently. Being involved in the affairs of the law's unfavorable meant that sooner or later, he would be caught in the crossfire- Flash showing up had been a lucky first run in. He knew it could get much worse.

Luckily, he knew that wouldn't happen with Selina.

She showed up- no, she waltzed into the long term ward at Gotham Children's like it was a runway. The bombshell had forgone her catsuit and instead was wearing leather pants and an oversized sweater that hung off one shoulder and read "crazy cat lady." With the hand that wasn't clutching the strap of an oversized Gucci purse, she lowered her large sunglasses to meet his carefully blank expression with an amused gaze.

"Something the matter?"

Danny rolled his eyes and beckoned her to follow him. "Stop making the nurses faint and come on."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about-" Selina stop talking and choked back a laugh as she looked around her and took in the awestruck faces on many of the staff and visitors in the waiting area. "Ah." She coyly blew a kiss to an older teenage boy sitting next to his mother, and Danny was positive all oxygen had stopped flowing to the kid's brain.

"Alright, we're going to see Ashley now before you give the hospital any more patients," he ordered, snatching her hand and leading her down the hall. He did _not_ want to have to go on damage control before the visit even began. "Do I even want to know what you have in the bag?"

"If it didn't set off the metal detector, do you need to worry?"

"Yes," he deadpanned. Noticing that they were close to the little girl's room, he slowed their pace. "Okay, ground rules: no stealing, no intentionally intimidating nurses, no swearing, okay?"

Selina sighed in exasperation. "Fine. Can I go in now?" Danny gave a mock bow and knocked on the nearest door (not randomly, he had been told the number would be 209). Selina brushed by him with a kind smile and arms wide open. "Ashley, sweetie!"

A gasp could be heard even from his place outside of the room. "Ms. Cat-lady! You came!"

"How could I not come see a cat lover like you?" There was a pause, and Danny was sure that he heard a zipper un-zip. "I brought you something special!" _Oh shit._

" _Meow~"_

"A kitty!"

Well fuck.

* * *

"In my defense, it was a hairless kitten. You said she was allergic to them, so I found a hypoallergenic one."

"Not the point!"


	7. Forced First Impressions

When he came to and felt his the back of his head throbbing, Danny wasn't sure he wanted to open his eyes and see the situation he was in.

Other than his head, he couldn't feel any pain, so at least he hadn't been attacked harshly yet. He could, however, feel the zip ties that were currently digging into his wrists and ankles and keeping him secure to the metal chair he was seated in, which sent a chill over his arms at its cool metal touch.

Maybe it was the goosebumps, or maybe he had moved slightly when he woke up, but his captors knew he was back in the waking world. "You can stop playing possum now," a semi-amused voice called from behind him.

Danny sighed and blearily opened his eyes, blinking several times before everything came into focus. The room (though it wasn't really fair to call it a room, it was a fricken _cave_ ) wasn't as bright as he expected his confines to be. The majority of the light seemed to be coming from the giant screen in front of him, which had at its base a large chair that reminded him of one a cinematic supervillain might have. This one was just as dramatic, too, or at least the person seated on it was; they spun around slowly and quietly to face him.

Aw hell. He had been abducted by a 10 year old.

"I'm not drunk enough to deal with this," Danny deadpanned, leaning his head back with another sigh.

Someone snorted in agreement off to his right, but that wasn't enough incentive to get Danny to move. "Tell me about it." He tilted his head slightly to see that- most notably- the speaker had a white streak in the front of his dark hair.

That wasn't entirely true. The _most_ notable thing was the red bat insignia that showed through the opening of his bomber jacket. Danny looked forward again, this time seeing with total clarity that the kid before him was none other than Robin. "Ah, the Bat-brats," he muttered, struggling against his probable concussion to remember what the Sirens had said about them. He was pretty sure there were four in town currently…

White-streak glared at his term (which Danny only then realized they all must've heard) but didn't respond. Instead, a fourth and final person chimed in. "Sounds like something straight from Poison Ivy's mouth."

Danny smiled, his tongue just barely showing between his teeth. "Someone's done his homework."

"We have." The bite-sized Robin was talking now. "Daniel Johnson, no middle name, no surviving relatives, graduated in the top 5% of your class, worked at 'World of Wishes' for the past three years. However, you've recently become involved with the criminal side of Gotham."

"Kid, the only illegal thing I've been involved in is this kidnapping. Where, I would like to point out, I am the victim."

The other two individuals entered his line of vision finally, one in a red and black suit with a black cowl and the other in a black suit with a blue… triangle… thing. "Look at this as more of a precautionary encounter; we need to make sure you aren't a threat to the people in our city."

Danny surveyed the shorter one with a bored expression. "'Your city?' Excuse me, I've lived here longer than you've been alive."

The taller one gave a suspicious cough; Danny was positive that he was hiding a laugh. "Red Robin is essentially correct, but we-"

"Wait, wait- your superhero name is a restaurant?"

Apparently he had hit a nerve. Red Robin went from being the calmest of the four to the tensest, gritting his teeth in annoyance. White-hair-streak outright chuckled at this point. "You're a terrible hostage."

Danny nodded his head in mock thanks; he wished he hadn't because now his brown hair was falling in his face slightly. "What can I say? It's my first time."

"Enough!" The mini-Robin hissed, leaning forward in his chair. "I would remind you that you are at our mercy! Nobody knows you're here, and nobody would miss you if your absence became permanent."

He narrowed his eyes in confusion. Did he really think that bluff would work? "Kid, you realize the Sirens practically live at my place, right?" The silence that followed led him to believe that the four were not aware of this development.

"I fucking told you-"

"Damian! Does your father know you're using that type of language?" An amused voice echoed around the cave; after the course of their conversation, Danny didn't think the Bat-kids could tense any further. He was wrong. "And Dick! How come you didn't tell me you were back in town? I had to find out from Alfred!"

"Selina," the boys chorused, though nobody missed the quieter "Sorry, Mami" from the eldest.

The click of heels sounded as Selina walked into Danny's view. Huh. Somehow, this was the first time he had seen her in her 'Catwoman' outfit. He felt her nails/claws dig into his cheeks slightly as she bent down and tilted his head upwards. "Who gave him a black eye?" He had a black eye? No wonder his head hurt.

"It was Jason!" The other three pointed at White-streak (although Danny supposed he could now call him Jason). Jason scowled at them.

"Next time one of you needs me to cover your asses, do not expect help," he hissed.

Selina rolled her eyes. "Hold still," she murmured before slashing at the restraints on his wrists and ankles. Danny attempted to stand up, but ended up blindly reaching out for support as he tried to find his balance. "Steady, kitten." He muttered his thanks as she began to lead him towards the exit.

"You can't just take him!" Damian exclaimed, jumping from his seat, but one look from Dick and he stopped in his tracks.

Danny hung his head and let out a breathy laugh, causing him and Selina to pause mid-step. "I'd love to stay, but there's a bottle of vodka with my name on it waiting for me back at my apartment. Dick, Jason, restaurant, bite-size," he glanced at each of them in turn, taking pleasure out of the younger two's annoyance, "see you around town."

* * *

"How'd you know he was there, 'Lina?"

"Oh, Alfred texted me. He knew those boys were doing something stupid."

Danny exhaled loudly and shifted in his sleep, causing the women to lower their voices.

"Maybe we could just put a bitty tracker-"

"Harley, we're not surgically putting anything in him."

"Aw, you're such a party pooper, Red."

The three were silent for several moments. "Could always put somethin' in his watch?"

"...actually, that's not such a bad idea…"

"You guys know I'm awake, right?"

* * *

 _A/n: Okay y'all are the absolute best readers ever. 6 chapters and 5k+ views?! All your views and reviews (especially those) make me feel so happy. Thank you so much for all the kind words (and ideas!). This chapter hopefully answers a lot of questions about whether or not the Batfam is watching Danny. I know they're acting a bit over the top, but Danny's not your average joe anymore (and he's concussed) while the Batkids don't know who they're really dealing with yet. I really wanted to get you guys and gals one more chapter before I take a mini-break: 1 week until AP tests! I'll be back mid-May though, never fear! Again, thank you so much for all your support, it really keeps me going. I hope y'all enjoyed the chapter :)_


	8. Testament to His Pain

Danny had figured that putting some space between him and Gotham for a few days was healthy. Everybody needed a change in scenery sometimes, and he figured it was appropriate to do so after being kidnapped.

If he was being honest, this was more for his kidnappers sake than his. Red Robin and regular Robin (talk about lack of originality) probably needed a bit of time to cool off after having been bested by a civilian.

If he was being really honest, though, it was mostly for the Sirens, to make sure the new tracker in his watch worked over long distances. Some arguments you just can't win.

Of course, there had also been the matter that he had a case out in Metropolis. Danny hadn't originally considered it a normal one for him (not that any truly fell under that category), seeing as Lex Luthor was a well-known and respected public figure. That belief was quickly dashed when Ivy informed him that Luthor was a prominent figure in the underworld she frequented as well. Perhaps that was another reason why no one else wanted to approach the man for this child's request.

Danny tried not to let the intimidation set in as he walked up to Luthor's secretary where she sat behind her desk. In his opinion, she held herself much more like a bodyguard than a typical secretary. Harley's reminder echoed in the back of his mind as he shot the woman a smile and informed her he was here for a scheduled meeting.

 _Trust me, that lady sure knows how to start a fight!_

 _Start one?_

 _Yessir,_ Harley said, _Luthor's the one that finishes them._

"Mr. Johnson?" The woman asked as she stood, drawing his attention back to her. "Mr. Luthor is ready to see you." He nodded at her in thanks and walked through the door she held open for him.

"Mr. Johnson, it's a pleasure to meet you," Luthor's strong voice floated down from the raised area where his wide, curved desk sat. The man himself was walking towards Danny and shook his hand firmly once the two were close enough.

"Likewise, Mr. Luthor, but let's cut to the chase so we don't waste any of each other's time," he replied, hell bent on treating the business mogul the same as everyone else. Danny handed him the file folder he had been carrying, pausing for a minute as Luthor flipped through the pages containing details on the child. "His name is Ian Trent; he was recently admitted to the long term recovery ward after it was discovered he had been abused by his single father for years. Right now he's in the protective custody of his godmother." Danny observed the tightening of Luthor's jaw with interest. "He's going to be in the hospital for quite some time still; they had to reset multiple broken bones and his ribs were cracked in several places, along with a few infected lacerations…"

"I've heard enough," Luthor snapped, his eyes blazing with an anger that wasn't specifically directed at Danny (at least he hoped it wasn't). "I will be visiting the child tomorrow _and_ setting up a charity fund in his honor for other children who have suffered like him."

Danny's eyes widened in shock. He certainly hadn't expected that to happen. "Oh, Mr. Luthor, that's very generous but-"

"Will you need a form of contact for tomorrow?" Luthor asked him, rage still visibly simmering beneath the surface.

"Um… a phone number would be great…" Danny trailed off as he wordlessly accepted the offered business card from the man. "Does one o'clock work for you?"

"Sounds perfect." Luthor gave him a strained smile. "I'll see you then, Mr. Johnson."

* * *

"So does any of that sound… normal for Luthor?" Danny stared blankly at the ceiling as he spoke loud enough for his voice to be picked up while on speakerphone. He was lying on the pristine white bed in his hotel room, chatting with Ivy as a way to pass some time.

" _Sounds like a question for Superman,"_ she said in a dry tone, signaling the statement to be sarcastic.

"Funny thing is, you're probably right, though," Danny replied with a snort. "But seriously."

He could practically hear her shrug over the phone. " _Who knows? Luthor's very private."_ She paused, allowing Danny's end to be filled with static caused by her silence. " _You're avoiding what you really called for."_

He sighed, running a hand through his hair anxiously as his shoulders sagged in defeat. Perhaps he wasn't as subtle as he thought he was when it came to these things. "How was the funeral?"

" _Fuck you for making me care about her,"_ Ivy snapped, her voice breaking in the process. " _Her mother gave me some of her drawings and one of her succulents. Melody was a sweet thing."_

Danny hummed in defeated agreement. This was the inevitable downside to his job: the loss of his wishers, children cursed to a brief existence. Each loss left him feeling hollow, even though he knew it was beyond his control. At least this time, he didn't have to go through it alone. "She adored you."

" _Didn't matter much in the long run."_

"Try telling that to her family and see how far that argument goes," he retorted. He took her lack of response to mean she had conceded the point. "What are you going to do with her plant?"

" _Put it with my other succulents, of course. Can't have it getting lonely."_

Danny couldn't tell if she was joking or not, but at this point he had learned just to go with it. "Give it a… pat for me?"

" _Sure thing. Have fun with Luthor."_

"Not sure that's possible."

* * *

 **Hey guys, I'm back!** Well, kind of. Done with all of my tests until August (except for two finals next week). Sorry for the long wait, but I hope you find this closer look into Ivy and Danny a sort of consolation until the next chapter. Won't be too long a gap this time, especially since this one sets up what is to come. Thanks for all the kind words you guys left after the last time, and feel free to comment or PM questions anytime! -Archer

 _[Also a bit of context: yes, this is cartoon Luthor, but with the abuse backstory of modern Luthor. And yes, the chapter title is taken from the Alexander Hamilton lyrics because Alexander "Lex" Luthor, haha...]_


	9. At Least It Wasn't a Bird

Lex Luthor had been a surprise to not only Danny but the entire hospital as well. It was strange: there had always been stares with the other guests he had escorted to these meet and greets, but it was on another level with Luthor. He was almost on a godlike tier, and part of that he found out later was because he regularly donated huge amounts of money to the Metropolis Children's Hospital. Luthor was different from many of the heroes (or villains), though in the sense that many regular people never had an opportunity to interact with him or see him in person. In contrast, Superman was waving down at the town's citizens every other day. Lex Luthor was far more detached from the general populous than those with the superhuman abilities.

For Ian, a little boy who had lived in fear of his own father for _years_ , this respected figure was somehow able to do more for him in a few minutes than someone like Superman could ever do.

Truthfully, Danny thought the visit affected Luthor more than Ian. The man had been incredibly tense in the presence of the other adults there on Ian's behalf, and yet interacting with the boy seemed to be like second nature to him. The two played with a miniature Lexcorp drone, sending it flying down the hallways and into other rooms to the delight of other children. Danny did notice that he flinched whenever he glanced at the pink scar on the boy's cheek, which had been a parting gift from his father.

Perhaps that's why he wasn't too surprised by Luthor's murmured parting words to Ian, even as they brought a hopeful glimmer into the boy's blue eyes: "If I made it out okay, you will too."

It was also part of the reason he wasn't too surprised on hearing that Ian's father was the latest victim of the lynchings that often occurred at the State Prison due to lax enforcement. While he wasn't one to celebrate a person's death, Danny didn't try to stop the ghost of a smile from flitting across his face as he read the news on his phone.

His satisfaction quickly turned into exasperation as his screen showed an incoming phone call from Selina. The Sirens did not seem to be handling this long-distance thing well: Harley had spammed him with pictures of pets in cute outfits and Ivy had created and sent him a new Pinterest board about small house plants (since he needed more "green" in his apartment). Danny sighed as the phone rang for the third time and he finally picked up.

"What is it, kitty?" He asked in a slightly weary tone.

The voice on the other side of the phone, while amused, was decidedly not Selina. " _No, but she was the one who let me contact you. I'm Batgirl."_

"Oh, come on," Danny groaned, sliding down on the couch so his head and feet rested on opposite arms. "How many of you are there again?"

" _Depends on the day,"_ Batgirl replied with a chuckle. " _Just wanted to give you a heads up, though. Supes is on your six; have a fun chat!"_ The connection clicked off as she hung up.

Danny took the phone away from his ear and glared at it. Of course Superman was going to interrupt him during his downtime. How come the supposedly evil villains had better manners than the heroes? Life wasn't fair.

He figured that he might as well properly greet the Man of Steel. Did Superman even drink hotel mini bar beers? Danny shrugged. He'd find out soon enough.

The hotel room didn't have much of a balcony (there was barely enough room to walk out onto it), but Danny opened the sliding door out of politeness. There was no point in letting the man potentially break the glass when trying to enter. He leaned against the doorframe, mindlessly sipping from one of the drinks as he awaited the hero.

Danny didn't know much about Superman outside of the normal events that merited press releases (so, all of them). He didn't see a need to care too much about what the hero was up to on a weekly basis. He cared even less recently, but that was due to worrying more about whatever the hell the criminals he was around were up to. The world's a big place, and Danny was only one guy.

Besides, his run in with the Batbrats had soured his feelings towards anyone associated with the Justice League. Although now, he supposed Batgirl was an exception to this along with Jason, since he has left Danny a bottle of vodka outside of his flat. It made the kidnapping experience a bit more tolerable.

Sadly, his mini-bar mini beer didn't seem like it was going to make this encounter any more tolerable. He looked up with tired resignation at the red-caped man hovering a few feet above him.

"Superman," he said flatly, tipping back the last of his drink.

The hero raised an eyebrow in what seemed to be a mix of confusion and amusement. "Mr. Johnson. Do you mind…?" He didn't bother to finish his question, as Danny moved back from the doorway and gestured for him to enter the hotel room. "It seems like you were expecting me."

"I'm psychic," Danny said sarcastically, staring at his guest calculatingly. "Let me guess: this is about Lex Luthor?"

Superman gave him a tight smile. "You might be onto something with that 'psychic' power of yours." All signs of humor vanished from his expression. "However, you don't know the things that Luthor - or any of those other villains- have done. They've hurt and killed-"

Danny abruptly raised a hand as he was speaking. "Let me stop you right there. What they do outside of the few hours they visit a kid in a hospital is not my business. Mr. Luthor was a perfect gentleman yesterday and that child he visited smiled for the first time in months." He glared at the man. "He is that child's hero, and I don't appreciate you coming to my _hotel room_ uninvited and unannounced to lecture me like you're my mother."

Superman's eyes narrowed cautiously. "I don't think you understand what you're getting into."

Danny huffed in derision. "I'm aware of the risks, and in this case, I'm aware that the child's father was the real villain and not your nemesis."

"These people are dangerous-"

"Excuse me, but so far I've been stalked and kidnapped by you superheroes, not villains!"

Obviously Superman had been left out of the loop. "What?"

Danny rolled his eyes. "Go ask some Robins named Red and Bite-sized."

The look on his face let Danny know Batman would be in for some questioning when Superman returned to their headquarters.

* * *

 **Thanks for all the well-wishes for my final, and here's a start of summer present for y'all! If there's anyone you want to see in here, feel free to shoot me a PM. And, as always, thank you so much for all your favorites and reviews! You guys are the best :)**


	10. We're All Mad Here

Why couldn't every villain have a home base? Life would be so much easier. Or, at least, his life would be so much easier.

It was only supposed to be a quick pit stop to find this lady for some kid who had been obsessed with the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland since watching the movie. Just his luck that it was three hours later, and he was hiking in a forest in the middle of nowhere. Deathstroke had sent him the coordinates of where she was, but it wasn't like Danny was a seasoned tracker. Google Maps was his limit most of the time.

Now was an exception, apparently.

As he paused for a quick drink from his water bottle (thank god for his hindsight), Danny realized something that would've saved him so much time and effort. Wow, was he stupid. He was being watched. Hopefully, it was Cheshire.

Might as well sit and wait for the assassin to make her move. He knew she would; Cheshire wouldn't be one to leave loose ends that might give away her position to others… Maybe he should start singing.

" _Always look on the bright side of death, just before you take your terminal breath,"_ he began at a normal tone. Apparently, that was all she needed.

"Alright, alright: enough with the caterwauling. I'm the cat here," Cheshire cringed, slinking out of the trees behind him. The annoyance on her face was as clear as day, especially since her ever-present mask was hanging loosely in one hand. In Danny's opinion, the term "villain" didn't really seem to fit her, but he supposed "assassin" was a synonym for it (at least to his boss). "What do you want?"

Danny raised an eyebrow in response to semi-rhetorical query. Her glare kept him from giving a sarcastic answer this time. "Eight year old with lymphoma really likes the Cheshire cat, hence why I tracked you down."

He wouldn't categorize Cheshire's expression as 'sad,' but it was somewhere near that line. Her shoulders visibly slumped under the weight of what he said. "How long have they got?"

He held up his index finger in a "give me a second" gesture and pulled out a folded piece of notebook paper from his jean pocket. Unfolding it, Danny sighed as he read the child's information. "Mina's doctors aren't sure, but they're not optimistic."

"I'll be there tomorrow."

It took him a moment to react to her quick response. "Damn... okay. Blüdhaven General, Children's Ward." He stood up and moved to start heading back down the path. "Wait, do you need my num-"

She grinned in amused. "Your burner number? Don't worry, I already got it." Cheshire gave him a lazy salute. "You can go back to your 'singing' now; if you keep it up, you'll be able to shatter glass soon!"

"I'm not that bad," Danny muttered in annoyance as he turned his back to the emerald clad assassin and began the trek back.

* * *

Danny closed his apartment door and slid down against it until he was sitting on the floor, his bad discarded at his feet. He was so done after tracking down the assassin that falling asleep on the carpet seemed like a good idea.

Of course, his roommates had other plans.

"It's about time you got back," Selina snapped from the sofa. Danny wearily looked up to see her sitting with her legs crisscrossed and a gallon tub of chocolate ice cream rested in her lap.

"Why so catty?" He sneered half-heartedly, dragging himself back up again. He left his bag where it was and plopped next to Selina on the couch. He snatched the spoon from her hand, eliciting a hiss of annoyance from the woman. Danny promptly ignored her and shoveled a heaping of ice cream into his mouth.

Harley's voice filtered through from the bathroom. "Kitty had a run in with Bats. He must've forgot a goodnight kiss."

"Shut up. You're in there sulking because Ivy went out on the town without you," Selina shot back, reclaiming the spoon from Danny as he glared at her.

Harley's pout was audible in her response. "Well, there ain't no reason tah be so mean."

Danny sighed, grabbing the spoon back from Selina as she moved to scoop out some more ice cream. "I think I'm already planning my next trip. Who's the farthest villain from here?"

Selina's eyes narrowed at him. "You could always try the Phantom Zone."

"No need to be so bitchy," he retorted, rolling his eyes. Selina's barbs didn't do much to him at this point.

"Oh please, darling: I'm not bitchy– I'm catty."

* * *

Maybe he should just stay away from women. Between superheroes and supervillains, they somehow managed still to be the most unpredictable and intimidating.

For example, if Deadshot had been the one entertaining the young children in the hospital's play area, Danny would feel comfortable dragging him away to stop scaring the parents. But when Cheshire was the one with a little boy on her lap and several other kids sitting around her as she told a story, it became a much bigger headache.

When a popular blog run by a mother in town praised the assassin for her nurturing and caring attitude towards both the sick wish child and the others in the play area, Danny sent Cheshire and the blogger the biggest chocolate themed gift basket he could find.

The cat paw phone case that had shown up on his coffee table was a nice 'thank you.' The copy of "Singing: for Dummies" was not as appreciated.

* * *

 _Hello humans! Thanks so much for sticking with this story, I've loved reading all your reviews! I'm taking everything that everyone's suggested into account (nothing is in this chapter since I actually started this like three weeks ago). Bane's probably coming up soon, so you guys can stop asking about him haha. -_ _So as bad as my posting habits are, they're about to get even worse... college applications open August 1st, so guess what I'll be doing for the next 3 months! [If anyone's got any advice, I'm all ears!] That said, this will continue to be updated, but very randomly. I think that's it. Thanks for reading still!_


	11. Somewhere Over the Rainbow

When Danny had bad days, they tended to be really bad. Like not "I spilled coffee on my lap" bad or "I totaled my car" or even "my dog died" bad. Really, really bad.

His day started out at around 6 A.M. when his next wish child took a turn for the worse overnight. All Cammie had wanted was to see a rainbow one last time, but the odds of that naturally occurring in the sight of her hospital window was slim, even slimmer with her having only hours left. Danny was forced to GPS track the Weather Wizard through his cell phone (seriously, villains were just as clueless as everyone else sometimes) and drag him out of bed so they could make it in time.

It was painful to stand in the corner of the room and watch Weather Wizard sit next to the frail little girl and hold her hand. She was smiling as he caused rainbows to shimmer in and out of existence with his "weather wand." (Wow, did that make him cringe). The fleeting smile that came to his face with the thought slipped away at the reminder of why they were there.

A glance over to Cammie's father, who was desperately trying to hold back tears from where he sat on his daughter's other side, only made Danny's stomach drop more. The only thing that was keeping him grounded was Cammie's weak voice asking "Mr. Mark" to make more rainbows.

The villain did so for 28.5 minutes more until her breathing stopped and her eyes turned glassy.

Watching her father completely break down was a punch to the gut. He clung to his daughter's hand, pleading her to wake up as his previously stubborn tears freely flowed down his cheeks.

Weather Wizard bowed his head in silence for several moments before he gently set Cammie's still hand down and made his way around the bed to lay a comforting hand on her father's shoulder. The man only sobbed harder.

Danny closed his eyes and rested his head back against the wall. Sometimes he really hated his job.

* * *

It was noon now. He was sitting stiffly on the couch with Ivy, both of them petting the succulents that had belonged to Melody, the little girl that idolized Ivy. She now knew what such a loss felt like, and had shown up within five minutes of hearing the news. The two of them had moved the couch so they could stare out the window in silence, watching the people of Gotham walk by like tiny ants on the sidewalks below them.

"She was seven," Danny finally said blankly.

"Mhmm," Ivy quietly agreed. "And Melody was five."

"The universe fucking sucks."

The redhead let out a sharp exhale to signal the dark amusement she found in his statement. "Yup." They both looked down at his lap as his phone began to ring in his pocket. "Fate's got something against you right now."

Danny sighed and answered the call from his boss. "Johnson."

" _You've got a pair here. First one's a girl, really likes the Cheetah lady for whatever reason."_

"Fine. What else?"

He could hear her grumble about it for several seconds before answering. " _There's a little boy who wants to meet that clown guy, Joke-"_

Danny's eyes widened in shock as Ivy ripped the phone from his hand and threw it as hard as she could against the wall to their right, where it cracked on impact. "Wh- what the hell did you do that for?!"

Her glare made it seem like she gained laser vision overnight. "You are not letting that crazy fucking bastard anywhere NEAR a child, do you hear me?" Her hand was clenched around one of his wrists.

He stared at her incredulously. "Ivy, you don't seriously think I would consider that for even a second, right?" As her expression relaxed, he rolled his eyes. "I know he's unhinged. I know he'd probably kill them. I was going to tell my boss 'no way in hell,'" he glanced at his ruined work phone, "but you kind of beat me to it."

At least Ivy seemed slightly apologetic for her impulsive action. "Oops."

Danny couldn't help but laugh at her blunt statement. "Oops indeed." His gaze fell back to his busted phone. "Wonder Woman was last seen in London, right?"

The villainess shrugged, sitting back down and petting the succulent once again. "Sounds like somewhere the princess would be."

"Hm. I wonder if I could borrow Lex's private jet for this one."

* * *

Turns out he could borrow Lex's private jet.

* * *

"-on the plane to London now. I thought he would be in New York longer, but maybe he was just meeting with someone?"

"Definitely not the case. G-dad was still pretty stressed over it, but mainly 'cause Artemis showed up and kept him from racing out across half the country."

"What are you two doing?" The two teens jumped as the girl spoke from behind them, her hand on her hips and eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"...nothing?"

"Well not exactly nothing 'cause Robin told Red Robin who told Wonder who told Guardian who told Arsenal who told-"

"Don't you mean Red told other Robin?"

The two boys looked at each other and shook their heads in unison. "Nah!"

Batgirl sighed. "I'm not sure I care anymore. Nope. Not my problem." She left them to their conversation. Besides, it was always best to hear these things straight from the source.

* * *

 ** _Bit of clarification: NYC is a pretty close drive from Gotham. So Danny was in NYC, went back to Gotham, and is now going to London._**

 _This chapter was the price to pay for Cheetah being the next one (she's actually been on my list since the beginning). Yes, I do listen to suggestions. Yes, I also listen to other ideas. This ending happens to be the start of something that came to mind when talking to littleditto. Also, thanks for all the kind words! I love hearing from everyone._


	12. Werecats in London

The one good thing about having a phone solely for dealing with villains (other than the fact Ivy hadn't smashed it into the wall) was that Danny didn't have to stalk many anymore. Even better, they didn't have to stalk him.

"Have to" being the operative term. They weren't about to stop doing something they enjoyed (to his annoyance).

For instance, he should've known that even though he had planned to meet with Cheetah at the London Zoo, she would decide to abduct him straight from the airport instead. Alright... so maybe he deserved that one.

"Something tells me you didn't want to see the lions," he said snidely to her and she weaved in and out of traffic. She was used to city driving, that was clear, but he questioned how much practice she had with driving on the left side of the road recently.

"Are you such a dick to everyone?" She snapped back.

"Only to kitties I like. Where are we going, anyways?"

Cheetah glanced behind them and made a sharp left turn in response, causing a symphony of car horns to go off from those driving around them. "Away from the punks chasing us."

Danny leaned his head back into his headrest with a sigh. "Please tell me it's not the Batbrats." He smiled as the nickname drew a laugh out of her.

"If it is, it would only be the tiny one." She grit her teeth in frustration and swerved around a pair of cars stopped at a red light, causing Danny to cuss under his breath. "Wonderbrat is here with Wonderbitch, I know. Saw the Blue Beetle while waiting outside the airport. I assume they're not the only ones."

"Good to know." A flash of scarlet caught his eye, and he looked out the window to see the red… figure swoop down on top of a building. "Well, you were right about Wonderkid."

"Goddamnit!" The two lurched forward as she slammed on the brakes. Danny peered up to see that a red and yellow boy was standing directly in front of their car; in a few seconds, he was joined by who Danny assumed to be Blue Beetle.

"You could've run them over?" He offered, receiving a grin from the hybrid. "Alright. Let's see if I can get us out of this." He unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door so he could step out. Apparently, this was threatening enough for Wonderkid to land with a green bird that morphed into a boy. "Huh. Another quartet."

"Sir, if you could please back away from the car-" Blue Beetle said, only for Danny to cut him off.

"What are you, 12? Kid, this is my rental. Mind your own business." Danny crossed his arms challengingly. "Next?"

"Hey, mister! You've got a supervillain in there, so step aside and let us do our job!" The red kid said. Danny noticed he had a lightning bolt on his chest, so he figured this was a speedster.

"Good job standing up for your friend, Speedy." Danny laughed as he heard him complain _I'm Kid Flash!_ quietly. "Hey Cheetah, you've been upgraded to 'super!'"

Cheetah threw him a not-so-nice gesture from where she sat still in the car, causing him and the green boy to snicker. "You, I like," Danny said, pointing at the kid. "Okay, Wonderkid, what've you got?"

"It's Wonder _Girl,"_ she snapped, "and I've got the big guns."

"Bloody hell," Cheetah muttered as she finally got out of the car, watching as another figure flew down from the clouds.

Did all superhumans take lessons in dramatic timing?

"Wonder Woman," Danny said bluntly as a greeting. He knew when to not cross a line.

Kid Flash appeared to not take kindly to his self control. "What, no sarcastic comment?"

Danny raised an eyebrow, questioning his behavior. "I tend to refrain from pissing off Amazon warriors."

Wonder Woman seemed to find his statement amusing, as he could see she smirked at his words. "And yet you accompany this thief?"

He shrugged, doing his best to ignore that a crowd had gathered around them. They were sure to be all over the internet by now. "Just doing my job. A double-amputee nine year old girl wants to meet her. Used to run races and was nicknamed "cheetah" by her friends."

The Amazon nodded her head in understanding. "An honorable task. I see no reason to impede your journey any further-" Danny had to keep himself from snickering at the flicker of annoyance that passed over Wonder Girl's face "-as long as Cheetah returns the Egyptian necklace she stole from the Natural History Museum this morning."

Cheetah only shrugged innocently when he turned to glare at her. She did hand over the artifact, however.

Well, she actually threw it at her nemesis. Not that it did anything; Wonder Woman caught it without batting an eye. After a quick farewell, the heroes were off. Danny took this as their cue to leave.

"Thanks for the heads-up on latest your criminal action," he grumbled, climbing back into the passenger's seat. Cheetah shrugged again.

"Heard you hang with Catwoman; not my fault you didn't expect it."

He crossed his arms and slouched in his seat as she started the car and shot off back towards Heathrow. "Not my fault you all are compulsive petty thieves."

Cheetah snorted and flipped her orange hair over her shoulders. "Hey, you're the one who called me a 'supervillain' a few minutes ago."

"Yeah, and it'll be the last time I ego-boost one of you."

"No it won't."

 _Sigh._ "I know."

* * *

"Out of all the times for you to be silent, Gar, you chose today?"

Beast Boy rolled his eyes. "Bart seemed to have that one covered. Maybe he was being a bit… _impulsive."_ He ducked his head down and snickered.

Kid Flash slouched in frustration. "He thought I was Speedy."

Wonder Girl patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. "He's not the first to make that mistake, and he certainly won't be the last."

"He called you 'Wonderkid,'" Blue Beetle pointed out from where he was seated on the other side of the table. Besides Beast Boy, he was the only one who was touching his food.

Wonder Girl's jaw clenched in annoyance at his words. "I remember."

"I liked him," Garfield said, biting into an apple.

"That's only because he liked you," Blue Beetle commented. Gar didn't seem to be bothered by the fact.

"Now I'm starting to understand why Flash doesn't like him too much. Or Robin," Bart added.

"Robin doesn't like anyone," Zatanna said as she walked by with a food tray in hand. Her commented caused all four teens to struggle to hide their laughter (because there was always a chance of Robin finding out).

* * *

 **In which we see me cave to y'all wanting Cheetah, the Young Justice/Titans not knowing how to deal with a smartass civilian, and Danny regretting his life choices (I'm kidding, don't worry). This chapter should clear up who the two boy heroes were in the last one (KF and Beetle).** **I also apologize to those who love Wally West as KF, I love him too, but he doesn't work with the mega-DCAU-timeline-merge mess I've created. Thanks for the faves and reviews as always!**


	13. Pure Catitude

"Selina."

"Pussy."

Danny pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed loudly as the Brit narrowed her eyes threateningly. "Clearly, you both need to be on leashes." He had just only stepped off of Luthor's private jet, but Catwoman and Cheetah were already at it. "Weren't dogs supposed to be the territorial ones?"

"Dogs are petty," Selina brushed his words aside mindlessly.

"Like this isn't?" He grumbled. He was jet-lagged; he didn't need to deal with this on top of escorting a supervillain while exhausted. _Maybe if I walk off, they'll at least follow…_

It took eight minutes and sixteen seconds before Cheetah actually caught up to him at the airport parking garage. "You could do better," she commented, adjusting her aviator shades.

Danny rolled his eyes. He was used to the remarks on every aspect of his life at that point. "And yet here I am."

Cheetah snorted in amusement. "She taught you well."

He raised his eyebrows in faux-confusion. "What are you talking about? That's all from Ivy." He smirked at her surprise and unlocked his car, ducking into the driver's seat before she could respond. Danny had started the engine before she had even scrambled into the passenger seat.

"Running a harem out of your apartment?" She teased.

Danny wasn't sure whether to laugh or choke on his own spit. "Not that I'm aware of," he finally managed. "It's more like an Airbnb at this point." He paused as he backed the car out of the space and started them on their way to Gotham Children's Hospital. "Or it would be, if any of the guests paid rent."

"Two squatters must be terrible," Cheetah replied sarcastically. She had discovered her seat controls and had now filled the car with the constant sound of whirring as she moved the seat back up and down.

"Don't wear that out," Danny hissed, ignoring her comment entirely. She didn't need to know he actually had three roommates.

She sighed dramatically before leaving it so she was laying down. "If it broke, I'd just get you a new one."

"I think it'd be easier to leave it broken than get a new seat," he muttered. He made her flinch and glare at him in annoyance as he honked his horn at a driver who cut them off.

"Oh please, I was talking about a new _car._ "

"Would you stop it with the stealing already?!"

She pointed a manicured nail at herself as she laid back again. "Thief, sweetie."

Danny narrowed his eyes but he kept his gaze on the road, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of having gained his attention. "Don't get too comfortable; we're basically there."

"Hard to get comfortable with your driving."

Danny made sure to slam on the brakes at the next stop light.

* * *

It was always nice seeing the suppressed caring side to such notorious villains. Danny sat off to the side of the visiting room as Cheetah and the young girl played Mario Kart Wii (since she couldn't run races anymore, she was adamant on getting better at car races instead). A few other children had joined them over the past hour, and now there was a cheering section for the players.

A lot less parents seemed nervous about this guest than some of the others he had brought into the hospital. Of course, the other visits had ended up all over the internet anyways, so he assumed people were just starting to get used to it. A few had approached him and asked the normal questions at this point: who is she, is she safe, is my kid safe. Danny just responded with a gentle smile and truthful reassurance as always: no kid would be harmed on his watch.

It was rare for Danny to be approached by a child, though; they tended to immediately gravitate towards their special visitor. Today looked like it was going to be different, as a shorter figure shakily moving towards him caught his attention.

"Chris?" He was shocked to see the boy who had played video games with Deadshot and Deathstroke _walking._ Chris had lost both his lower legs in a car crash, and a few weeks ago had been in a wheelchair. Now, even though he had crutches, he was most certainly upright.

Chris smiled widely. "They told me your name was Mr. Johnson," he said excitedly. "I never got to thank you for finding both of… them," the boy finished in a hushed voice, like they were speaking in code about a shared secret.

Danny internally cringed at being addressed so formally, but shook his head to dismiss Chris' attempt at secrecy. "You can say their names, kiddo," he chuckled. "And don't worry about it. I could tell you were psyched to meet them."

"You don't know the half of it!" Chris reached down and pulled up one of his pant legs. "I don't know how they did it, but Deadshot and Deathstroke found a way to get these for me! We'd never have been able to afford it," he admitted, "but now I can walk again!"

Danny leaned down to examine the prosthetic more closely. It appeared to be a generic version - nothing obvious about it was abnormal - aside from the blatant red and black coloration that matched both mercenaries outfits. "That's awesome," he said with genuine enthusiasm.

Chris lifted his fist for Danny to bump. "All thanks to you." He gave Danny a happy wave as he steadily moved over to the continuing Mario Kart competition. The current game that was being projected onto the wall showed Cheetah with a small lead that quickly vanished when she was hit with a blue shell. He laughed as she playfully traded taunts with her wishee.

He could literally feel the tension in the room increase as the villainess' shoulders tensed and her eyes flashed in his direction. A glance over his shoulder confirmed that her unease was due to a newcomer in the room. The woman was tall with dark hair and blue eyes that matched the trench coat she wore. Danny stared at her blankly while he thought over Cheetah's reaction again before it all clicked into place.

"Didn't expect to see you again so soon," he greeted, taking the gamble on his theory as the woman approached him.

"Mr. Johnson," she nodded her head politely, "I figured it would be appropriate to meet formally after our short encounter earlier. I do apologize that your trip to London was so… hectic."

 _Bingo._ He offered his hand for a handshake. "Obviously I shouldn't refer to you by your 'professional' title?"

She smiled wryly at his subtle sarcasm and shook his hand. "Diana is fine for now, Mr. Johnson." Her gaze flickered over to where Cheetah was surrounded by the group of children. "She's behaving?"

Danny's expression was indifferent, even though he was slightly offended Wonder Woman had asked, even if it was rhetorical. "She's not an animal," he replied with a slight edge.

"Of course not," the Amazon agreed. "But it is always wise to err on the side of caution when managing multiple variables."

He snorted in derision. "Why do you think I've been keeping my distance from your coworkers?"

An amused smirk slid onto her face. "Minerva, try not to make your loss look so suspicious," she said in a normal tone instead of answering. They both knew Cheetah could hear her, and the heightened sound of shouts and laughs was evidence that her revitalized gaming was proving entertaining.

Danny and Diana stood and watched the game through to its end. The young girl who had asked for her to visit was ultimately victorious, but Cheetah didn't have a problem with that. This was one princess it was okay to be beaten by.

* * *

 **Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. College apps have been taking a lot out of me. Thanks for sticking around and for all the lovely feedback. Another super-requested character will be up next.**

 **Thanks to the fabulous littleditto for saving my butt again. :)**


	14. Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf

Apparently, there were some limits to what villains Danny was able to look for on his own. He learned this the hard way via a loud lecture from Ivy and Harley after they learned of his next wisher's request.

"It doesn't matter how sick the kid is: he's unpredictable!" Harley finally shouted, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

Danny huffed in annoyance. "That's rich coming from you," he muttered.

Ivy's gaze narrowed dangerously. "Be nice."

"Well, let me do my job then," he pouted dramatically, ignoring Harley's delighted squeals over Ivy defending her.

Selina spoke up from where she was lounging in the kitchen, probably drinking a nice cup of tea while listening to the three of them argue. "Technically, there's nothing in your job description that says you have to track him down on your own."

"What, so you want to come with?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she said, leaning around the corner to actually join the three of them with her mug of tea in hand. "You don't pay enough for me to babysit."

"And you don't help me pay rent even though you've practically moved in," Danny shot back.

Selina dismissed his annoyance and her fellow Sirens' laughter with a casual wave of her hand. "Regardless, a little birdie owes me a favor, and I think he can be trusted to keep you alive. Probably."

Ivy sighed in defeat while Harley merely shrugged, leaving her position of towering over Danny to sit criss-cross on the carpet. "Well, at least he won't be goin' alone anymore."

Danny, however, was more focused on the uncertainty that he'd make it out alive. "What do you mean he'd 'probably' keep me alive?! Excuse me, but I have no desire to change my current state of alive-ness."

"Oh please," Selina rolled her eyes at his dramatics and took a leisurely sip of her drink. "Jason doesn't hate you _that_ much."

* * *

"Just because I don't 'hate' you, doesn't mean I like you either," Jason grunted as the two of them trudged through the dark streets in Gotham's warehouse district. According to basically everyone who was anyone in the criminal world, Bane had set up shop in one of the many decrepit buildings on the outskirts of the town. No one cared enough to know what he was doing or which one he was in, though, so Jason and Danny had been checking each one over the past four hours.

Tracking down a supervillain this time felt much more… "real" to Danny. Ivy and Selina had practically forced Jason to give Danny some of his kevlar gear (in reality, Jason had nicked some of Dick's stuff instead and threatened Danny's life if he told). Danny definitely felt secure in his new outfit, but only after he had covered up the Nightwing insignia on his chest with a leather jacket.

"You like me enough to give me some help with my fashion sense," Danny snickered in reply.

Jason snorted derisively. "That's just because I couldn't be seen in public with you dressed as a prep. Think of the damage it'd do to my image." He held up a hand to stop their motion and raised his gun into a ready position as they approached the next warehouse. Danny shut his mouth quickly and drew his own handgun, although granted, it was miniscule in comparison to Jason's.

It felt strange referring to the notorious "Red Hood" simply as "Jason," since he knew he wasn't actually supposed to know any of the Bat-clan's names. To be fair, he shouldn't be rooming with the Sirens either, but his life didn't want to follow any rules anymore. He supposed it'd feel a tad more comfortable to call a companion by his last name, but Danny had a sneaking suspicion that he'd be found dead in a ditch if he asked about Jason's.

The two snuck into the old warehouse, automatically turning in separate directions to cover the entire 360 degrees. It became clear fairly fast that there was no visible threat, so both men lowered their weapons slightly.

Jason sighed. "I still can't believe you brought that peashooter."

Danny shrugged. "Not all of us have easy access to grenade launchers."

A deep voice rang out from above them. "Lucky for me." Danny's gaze warily rose to find the man they were looking for staring down at them through a hole in the floor on the next level. "Otherwise, I would feel threatened."

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Jason tense and move to fire at Bane. That wouldn't end well either way, so Danny stepped forward to stop them before they could start. "Mr. Bane, I came here to ask if you could visit a sick child."

It was hard to gauge the reaction of someone with a mask on. "Why would you be so foolish to hunt me down for a child's sake?"

Danny shrugged, not having a complicated reason. "A little boy with muscular dystrophy asked to see you. You try turning down a seven year old; they can be pretty persuasive." He tried not to show his surprise and uncertainty as Bane jumped down through the hole to land on the ground in front of them. They all ignored the cracks that formed where his feet landed.

"I have heard about you, Danny Johnson. You have never before approached others with a shadow."

"My roommates are overprotective and said if I didn't have a bodyguard, they'd handcuff me to the refrigerator. So I wouldn't starve," he elaborated when the two masked men turned towards him.

"Guess my life isn't so crazy," he heard Jason mutter as he finally lowered his gun.

Bane nodded his head; whether it was in agreement with Jason or understanding at his statement, Danny didn't know. It wasn't important at this point, either. He unzipped his jacket, pulled out the folded 'wisher filer' he had on the little boy, and gave it to Bane. "Ian, that's the kid's name, his birthday's coming up next Tuesday. The hospital asks if you could come during his party to minimize interruptions in his physical therapy."

The large man read over the file's contents in a few minutes before closing it and (Danny assumed) looking in his direction. "I will see you in Blüdhaven then, Johnson. Now, if you and Red Hood would be so kind?" He gestured towards the door they came in through.

Danny gave him a polite nod of his head before he spun on his heel and left, noticing that he was several steps behind Jason. He didn't bother hurrying his pace to catch up; if Bane was going to kill him, he'd have already done so.

"You're one insane son of a bitch, I'll give you that," Jason commented once they were both outside again.

Danny laughed and began to lead them back the way they came. "And I thought you said you didn't like me."

* * *

 **Ta da: Bane! You have requested, and I have delivered. The rest is to come (and Riddler will be in it soon too, don't worry). Thanks for your continued support, I'm glad you all like it!**


	15. Family Matters

"So you just _let him meet Bane?!"_ The youngest among them growled, leaning forward in his seat. It was only to be expected; after all, Damian was every bit as dramatic as his father.

Jason shrugged. "Didn't really have much of a choice. Besides, it pisses you off, and that's all the incentive I needed."

Ignoring Barbara and Stephanie's snickers, Damian glared at him. "You're a dick, Jason."

"I appreciate you noticing."

"And this is why I tend to stay away from the manor," Helena muttered from where she sat next to Barbara, making sure only the red-head could hear her. "It's like watching 'Real Housewives' or something."

Barbara suppressed another laugh. "Honestly, boys, what is your problem with this guy? Other than the fact that he bruised your ego," she teased.

Tim, ever the strategist, tried to keep his annoyance towards Danny Johnson out of his expression as he gave a reason. "It is an unnecessary risk and liability to have an unsupervised civilian consistently bring dangerous villains to visit children."

Stephanie raised an eyebrow questioningly and leaned back leisurely in her chair, resting her feet on top of the dining room table the Batkids were all seated around. "It's not like the villains are seeking these kids out, though, and isn't Jason going with him for Bane anyways? Wonder Woman was there to watch Cheetah, too, and it's not like the Sirens are that crazy."

"Deathstroke and Deadshot countered each other," Cassandra succinctly added, shrugging as everyone stared at her in surprise for speaking up about it.

Dick returned his stare up towards the ceiling as he drummed his fingers mindlessly on the tabletop. "Connor mentioned that Superman had gone in his civilian persona to monitor Luthor when he visited that kid in Metropolis, but nothing happened at all. Well, unless you count the prison murder…"

"That didn't endanger the kid," Jason pointed out.

"... and Flash freaked out over Captain Cold after he was kicked out of the room, but everything was fine," Dick finished, ignoring Jason's interruption. "Johnson's been lucky."

"He didn't let a kid meet the Joker!" Barbara supplied helpfully in an amused tone, but the glint in her eyes belied the seriousness of her words.

The room was silent for several heartbeats before Damian (of course) spoke up. "And how do you know this?"

Babs waved her hand nonchalantly. She was aware that Jason and Dick at least knew by this point, and probably Helena and Cass as well. "Ivy overheard his boss ask, broke his phone against a wall, and asked me to get him a new encrypted one so people couldn't steal the numbers he has on there."

"And you just did it?!"

She shrugged. "Danny's a nice guy; wasn't gonna let him go phoneless for long."

"You know him?" Tim asked this time, while Damian glowered at her from his seat on the other side of the table.

Babs smiled slyly. "We've spoken."

"Oh, quit baiting them, Babs." The Batkids all turned towards the entrance as Kate Kane entered the room, followed by Alfred, who quietly waited by the doorway to observe his charges. She paused to ruffle Dick's hair, drawing a quiet complaint from him, before moving to take the empty seat between Jason and Damian. "If you guys have such an issue with Danny Johnson, why don't you confront him about it?"

Tim crossed his arms and huffed in frustration. "We already tried that."

Kate rolled her eyes. "No, the four of you _kidnapped_ him."

Damian narrowed his eyes and grit his teeth. "Why is she even here?" He asked the room at large, gesturing at the newcomer. His question merely made Kate laugh.

"To mediate between you and Jason," Stephanie deadpanned.

"I'm afraid you're mistaken, Mistress Stephanie," Alfred spoke up from his spot with a slight smirk. "That would be one of my duties."

Jason grinned and clapped his hands. "Ten points to Alfred!" He proclaimed, which drew chuckles from the majority of the assembled Batfamily.

"Thank you, Master Jason," the butler commented wryly, "though if you would come with me, I believe you are late to meet with Mr. Johnson and Mr. Bane."

"Awesome." Jason stood and made his way over to Alfred and the exit. "Ladies, nice to see you; Tim, not so nice; Damian, try a chill pill next time."

* * *

Bane hadn't been that big of a deal, in all honesty. Jason was wondering why he even bothered to come. He lounged in a corner of the kid's hospital room with Danny while Bane and the kid talked about his serum and (more on Bane's part) why there was no way in hell a seven year old would be given the addictive drug.

On the bright side, playing bodyguard was more fun than being stuck in the Batfamily meeting. From the desperate texts Dick was sending him every few seconds, coupled with the short, sarcastic ones by Cass and Helena keeping him up to date on the events occurring at the Manor, the meeting had turned into a madhouse (as usual). His phone buzzed again from where it was resting on his thigh, and Jason sighed defeatedly.

 _Dick is hanging from the chandelier. Damian is duct-taped to his chair. Kate is taking a business call while under the table,_ Cass had informed him.

 _I HATE THIS FAMILY,_ Dick had somehow managed to type.

 _Is there any way I can be disowned?_ Helena shared his annoyance towards most of his family, but at least she hadn't had to live with them.

He had muted all of them about five minutes ago, though. The real message that had made his phone go off drew his attention with amusement.

 _I just walked in with Duke and it's like last Thanksgiving all over again. How did you escape?!_ Luke Fox had sent, along with a picture of the room and all its chaos. Dick was indeed hanging from the light fixture, and only Damian's head, from above his mouth, was visible through the tape he was tied down with. Both redheads were underneath the table, Stephanie looked like she was laughing on the floor, Tim had buried his head in his hands in frustration. Only Cass was still properly sitting in her chair, her expression unconcerned about the craziness around her. _Duke asks to be un-adopted,_ Luke added.

That one drew an audible snort from Jason, enough to draw Danny's attention away from his child and villain charges. "Everything okay?"

Jason glanced at him briefly before turning back to the phone and typing out a response to Luke and Helena: _Don't you think I've already tried that?_ "Yeah, siblings are just being dramatic again."

He looked up in time to see Danny's mischievous smirk. "So the dramatics run in the family?"

Jason rolled his eyes and slipped his phone into his pocket, leaving him free to cross his arms in defense. "They do in the one of us that is actually related to our parent."

Danny was quiet for a minute as they watched Bane giving the young kid a ride on his shoulders around the hospital room. "It's nice to see Ian excited; apparently he's been pretty closed off for the past few weeks." He paused again, leaning back in an attempt to be nonchalant. "Dick, Damian, and Tim – the other three who kidnapped me – they the siblings you talking about?"

"You're a clever one, Johnson."

Danny shrugged. "I try to be. It's a necessity when you live with the Sirens." A call of his name from one of the doctors who was fiddling with the devices next to the kid's bed had Danny leaving Jason in solitude in his corner of the room.

The vigilante huffed and turned his attention towards the window overlooking Blüdhaven harbor. He wondered how Johnson would react to the fact that Bane had just given a sample of his Venom for the technicians to re-work in the lab to try and help the kid. No, he wondered how the _League_ would react when they found out.

That though kept Jason in a good mood for the rest of the day.


	16. Superstition Ain't the Way

_Knock, knock._

John Constantine stood on the other side of the door, his eyes narrowed suspiciously at the wooden structure. It wasn't like anyone he knew would ever knock, and he was pretty sure that Girl Scouts hadn't found the House of Mystery either (besides, it wasn't their cookie season yet).

Maybe if he stood there longer, whatever was making that sound would go away. Not likely, but a man could dream.

 _Knock, knock._

John groaned, knowing that if he didn't open it, the House probably would anyways. Defeatedly, he yanked the door wide open to find an unfamiliar brunet male facing him.

"Mr. Constantine?" The man asked in a hesitant tone. John looked down to see he was holding some sort of file, and immediately concluded that this person was seeking some sort of exorcism.

"No." He slammed the door in his face and spun on his heel to go back to studying some ancient scrolls – or he would have, if the bloody House hadn't decided to remove the hallway and trap him in the foyer. John sneered in ire and pulled a lighter out of his shirt pocket, shaking it at the ceiling. "It wouldn't be the first time I burnt a building down!" Nothing came of his threat, as expected, so John settled for snatching a cigarette from his back pocket and lighting that instead.

"You know, smoking's bad for you." John closed his eyes and took a drag of the cigarette as the unknown man spoke up; he had stepped into the room after the House had opened the door.

John shrugged, blowing out a stream of smoke at the same time. "It's not like I won't be going to Hell anyways." He moved to walk back down the hallway that had re-appeared. "A little smoke is the least of my problems. Now, what do you want?"

He was mildly surprised that the man didn't hesitate before following him. "I came to ask if you would visit a sick child who requested your presence."

"'Sick' wouldn't be a code-word for 'possession,' now, would it?"

"Uh… I don't think so?" John turned to survey his guest's expression, but the clear confusion written across his face made it obvious that he wasn't lying. "Here, you can take a look at her file if that would help." He held out a manila folder, which John snatched and began to read through the papers.

 _Taylor Pyne, age 5, Interstitial Lung Disease, quality of life has rapidly decreased, is not expected to live past the next two months._

John's eyes skimmed over most of the following description _(lung function decreased… breathing disturbed… no cure…)_ and instead found himself focusing on the pictures of the small, pale girl hooked up to intravenous drips and a respirator as she slept; he wasn't a doctor, but even he could see that the heart monitor in the background wasn't showing that strong of a beat. The notes at the bottom of the final page, the "World of Wishes" application sheet, made his gaze slip sorrowfully back to the other man for him to confirm it.

"She's blood type O negative. There was always basically no chance of her receiving a lung transplant, but now she's caught pneumonia again…" John closed his eyes and smirked in despair. "She's got a month, at tops, Mr. Constantine."

John weighed his options. He may be damned, but he wasn't evil. Clearly, for whatever bloody reason, this girl was fighting to stay alive to see him. He owed it to her. Well, he didn't necessarily owe it to the girl specifically, but to everyone he had ever failed. Hell, he didn't need to start justifying his actions now of all times.

"Well, then what're we standing around here for?" He clapped his hands together in finality. John muttered a spell under his breath and then reached out to grab the man's shoulder when a thought suddenly occurred. "Oi, mate, what'd you say your name was again?"

He ignored the muttered _I didn't say_ and merely nodded when the man replied, "Danny Johnson."

"Danny Johnson?" John grinned at his raised eyebrow. "Don't throw up on my shoes." He then snapped his fingers (he would never admit it willingly, but it was only for dramatic effect), and the two disappeared from the House of Mystery.

* * *

Besides the fact that the act of teleportation he'd just been forced into had made him nauseous, Danny was _really_ tempted to puke on John Constantine for acting before asking. Who just teleports people without saying something like ' _hey, we're gonna be traveling in a way your mortal mind can hardly understand, so don't be too surprised!'_ Crazy people, that's who. Apparently, Constantine fell into that category.

Danny supposed he should have expected something like that anyways. His search for the magician/sorcerer/wizard/exorcist had led him to Zatanna Zatara (he couldn't decide if she had had awesome parents or cruel ones to name her that), and wow did she have a lot to say on the man. After he got around all of the swears, he had boiled it down to Constantine being an "arrogant, selfish know-it-all who drags other people into his own mess without fail." She certainly wasn't a fan.

Seeing as he was gagging on the taste of bile that had risen up his esophagus due to their unconventional method of travel, Danny wasn't too much of a fan either.

"Thanks for the 'heads-up,'" he muttered, glaring daggers at the man in the trenchcoat. Constantine merely shrugged and rolled his neck; Danny could hear it pop from where he was standing, and he winced slightly at the sound. "Are we at least still on Earth?"

The blonde snorted in amusement. "Well, aren't you a dramatic one? We should be in a bathroom on the first floor of UCSF Children's."

Danny gaped at him in blank shock. "We're seriously in San Francisco?!" He had driven to Vermont to get Constantine from the House of Mystery; realistically, he was never going to get back there after this.

The other man rolled his eyes. "I'm not just going to abandon you here."

"I'll hold you to that," Danny muttered as the two of them left the white tiled bathroom and stepped into a busy hallway. He looked around for a brief moment until his gaze landed on the sign that read _Elevators/Ascensores._ A quick nudge to his companion, and the two made their way into the first one that opened (after Danny had pressed the button twenty times like a little kid and John had sighed like an exhausted parent).

Both silently thanked the universe that there was no elevator music on their ride up. Silence was acceptable for them.

"Alright, just remember: no swearing, no smoking, no spells that could disrupt any electronics, and no summoning any hellspawns," Danny informed Constantine as they exited onto the fourth floor and walked down the hall towards their wishee's room. He only hoped they wouldn't get in trouble for not 'calling ahead.'

Danny expected to hear a snarky response as they came to a stop in front of room 411, but when he didn't, he glanced over to make sure Constantine was still walking with him. His expression softened as he realized that the man's nerves had kept him silent. "You'll be fine, John," Danny nodded encouragingly towards the door. After receiving a positive response in the form of a weak smirk, he headed into the room, knocking on the doorframe as he did to signal their presence. "Miss Taylor Pyne?"

"That's me!" A small voice said, followed by a strong cough. The little red haired girl was lying back in her bed, a nurse by her side with a tray of food. The woman looked up questioningly, and appeared ready to say something, but lost the opportunity as Constantine stepped around Danny and made his way over to the free side of Taylor's bed. "Are you Mr. Costatine?" She asked clumsily with wide eyes as he approached.

"The one and only, little princess," he said with a wink, giving a dramatic bow. "A little birdie said you wanted to see me."

"Yeah, you've got a cool trench coat and you have a funny accent and you save people like the Doctor does on TV!"

Danny failed to hide a laugh at Constantine's bemused face. "Well, I'm not too sure about that–"

"It's okay because I am sure," the girl replied brightly.

Constantine shot Danny a desperate look for help, but the younger man couldn't do anything before he was roped into a mainly one-sided conversation about unicorns, magic wands, and whether Santa Claus was really based at the Arctic or Antarctica.

Danny turned his attention to the nurse as she gestured for him to take a seat in one of three chairs against the room's floor-to-ceiling window. "Thank you."

"Oh no, we should be thanking you, Mr. Johnson," the woman responded with a smile. "I recognized you from a story online." Oh joy, he'd have to look into that when he got home. "You just made Taylor's year by bringing that man here; it's been a while since I've seen her so perked up. I know her parents couldn't be here since they're at their day jobs, but on behalf of all of us, thank you so much."

"It's no problem at all, but I'm glad he could help cheer her up," Danny said neutrally. He appreciated the thanks, but he wasn't seeking any recognition in the first place, and so tried to politely dissuade the woman from continuing. In all honesty, her praise made him feel uncomfortable, and so he slightly angled himself to show his focus was back on Constantine and Taylor.

He assumed the nurse took the hint, as she sat down next to him and the two of them watched with quiet smiles on their faces as Constantine made an illusion of a Pegasus fly around Taylor's head. Her joyful squeals as it nuzzled her face made even the anti-social magician grin.

* * *

 _Something wicked this way comes. :) Happy New Year, everyone!_


	17. Honestly, what did he expect?

"Who cares that my contract says I have to show up at this stupid thing? I need sleep, not to deal with passive aggressive millionaires."

Selina glanced at Danny impassively as they joined the steady stream of attendees entering the Gotham Convention Center's ballroom. They walked along as elegantly as Danny could manage (since Selina somehow managed to _glide_ as she went, and in high heels, no less). He wasn't sure if it was a good thing their arms were linked; while it was natural since he was her escort for the event, Danny hoped he wouldn't drag her down if he tripped.

"If you wanted to sleep so much, you shouldn't have driven to go get Constantine yesterday. It wasn't your assignment anyways."

Danny sighed softly. He knew that, but it didn't cause him to feel regretful for going. "If I hadn't, that little girl would never have seen him before she died. It's not like the rest of the organization could find him. They'd been trying to contact him for five months." He paused to say a polite hello to a guest who had called out his name, and caught Selina nodding her head in her own silent greeting. "Besides, I showed up, so you can't comment on my actions. I'm only really here to help you piss off Bruce Wayne, apparently; lord knows why."

Selina laughed, her smile drawing several flashes from the cameras of the press where they lined the walls. "He ran into his bitch of an ex recently."

"And?"

"And a little birdie mentioned that he let her kiss him before they… parted ways."

"'Let her?'" Danny echoed incredulously. "How do you know that?"

He looked over soon enough to catch her roll her eyes. "Trust me, that man is always in control of a situation." She huffed, drawing a hand up to tuck a lock of hair back behind her ear as they finally made it into the ballroom. "Anyways, your purpose is to bait him into staking his territory."

Danny shut his eyes and groaned. "Please tell me that wasn't literal." Her mischievous grin was not the reassurance he had hoped for. "You realize he could have me mysteriously disappear, right?"

"Like I didn't find you the last time that happened," she replied casually.

"'Last time was a bunch of moody Gotham young adults," he muttered as they made their way onto the dance floor, where many guests were swaying to a gentle waltz. Apparently, Selina wanted to make sure they were seen as soon as possible.

Danny was very much regretting his decision to go along with this. He could already hear the whispers spreading of their arrival (a 'lovely' reminder that he was starting to become known on the internet).

 _Isn't that the villain guy with Selina Kyle... it mean he's on the job right…. hope she doesn't drag him into that triangle… what will Bruce Wayne think about them…_

He shook his head slightly to lose focus on the intrusive comments. They were only setting him on edge more. "This is worse than tracking down Bane."

His sarcastic comment was met by Selina's low laugh. "At least you have your priorities set."

"Yeah, I try not to drown in shallow attitudes like these."

The thief merely raised an eyebrow in response. "You and Bruce would get along well, if only you weren't terrified to meet him," she teased as he dipped her along with the steady rhythm of the song. "Speaking of…" She tapped his left shoulder as he pulled her up, and Danny didn't have to turn to know whose gaze was currently boring a hole through the back of his head.

"Mr. Wayne, what a pleasure to meet you," Danny said as politely as he could. He was treating this as just another villain encounter… and he really hoped Bruce Wayne wouldn't be able to read his mind and learn Danny compared him to villains.

"Charmed." The impeccably-dressed man gave him a bland smile before turning towards Selina. "Selina."

"Bruce," she shot back in the same monotone.

Ever the one to try and moderate, Danny tightened his grip on Selina's waist and began to move their impromptu trio to the seating area. "Maybe it'd be best to take this off dance floor?" He asked rhetorically. To his relieved surprise, neither member of the rocky relationship fought against his suggestion, and they quickly found themselves standing next to an empty table.

"You didn't mention you'd be making an appearance tonight," Bruce said in a low, questioning voice.

Danny almost winced at the poison behind Selina's innocent smile. "You didn't mention you'd seen Talia lately."

 _Talia?_ Danny was ready to question, but as he decided it was not a optimal query if he wanted to continue living, an arm nonchalantly draped over his shoulders and steered him away from the tense confrontation between Selina and her… whatever Bruce was.

"I think it's best that you sit this one out," a familiar voice suggested with a bubble of laughter easily heard under their words. The white stripe in his hair gave him away. Danny had no idea he had gained an invitation to the event. Maybe he was here on a mission.

"Nice to see you too, Jason. I hope your day's been as incredibly awkward as that situation was for me," he said in a mocking tone.

The blue eyed man gave him an amused grin. "Enjoy the show?" Danny assumed he was referring to the ongoing relationship spat.

"Selina does not seem to like this 'Talia' very much," he observed vaguely, keeping his opinions out of the discussion.

Jason groaned in annoyance. "That old man is the only one who likes Talia at all." His attention shifted slightly and eyes dilating like he hear something far away and was trying to hone in on it. "Cass!" He called, adding to Danny, "looks like you get to meet everyone. My condolences."

Danny fought the urge to escape from the current situation; the feeling of dread that was sinking onto his shoulders mirrored that of an antisocial teenager about to be thrust into an extended family potluck.

He nearly jumped out of his shoes (he would've if he hadn't had enough practice with the disappearing acts his roommates pulled) when a shorter, Asian girl appeared in front of them out of nowhere. Her steely eyes surveyed him closely. Danny wouldn't have been surprised if she was mapping out the various ways to subdue him from the naturally defensive way she held herself, despite her sleeveless black gown.

'Cass' nodded once in recognition of his presence before spinning on her heel and slipping her way around the throng of guests. Jason didn't seem to find her silence out of place, and moved apart from Danny so they could better maneuver through the crowd to wherever Cass was headed. He knew they had arrived when Cass stopped next to a tall red-haired woman.

In total, there were six people that formed the huddle Danny found himself joining as Jason shoved him in their direction. Besides Cass and the redhead, there was also a tall dark-skinned boy and… three very familiar Gotham residents. The tallest male winked at him, and Danny could hear Jason sigh in exasperation behind him.

"The Asian one is Cassandra, the ginger is Barbara – not totally sure why she's here – the black guy is Duke, and you've met Dick, Tim, and Damian," Jason said in a low voice, pointing at each figure as he said their names.

"Wait…" Danny narrowed his eyes accusingly at the three guys in the group, even as they studiously struck up a conversation amongst themselves to avoid him. "Dick? Tim? Damian?" For the first time in his whole interaction with the super-powered world, Danny felt like he was in over his head as it all clicked. "Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me."

"What is it?" Duke (or was it Luke? No, he was pretty sure they had said Duke) asked.

Cass shrugged. "He figured it out."

Danny ignored her and turned around to look back at Selina and Bruce Wayne. How could he be so _stupid?!_ "And that's 'Daddy Bats' back there with Selina?" He asked to the whole group, an eyebrow raised as he waited for some sort of confirmation.

"Welcome to the family?" the red-head, Barbara, asked sheepishly, although her grin showed how much she was enjoying this.

"No, no more siblings please," Danny heard one of the group mutter under their breath, but he couldn't tell who it was from. It didn't matter to him anyways, as he was too busy wracking his brain to figure out why Barbara's voice sounded so familiar. She somehow deciphered the meaning behind his confused stare and offered him an answer.

She crossed her arms proudly. "Remember Superman's visit?"

 _Oh right, the warning phone call._ "Right, thanks. Hope you didn't get in much trouble for that."

"Nah, it was fine." She leaned towards him and began to stage whisper. "Besides, I heard you called this kiddo 'Red Robin like the restaurants' and life's been pretty fun aft-" She stopped talking as a flurry of commotion from the ballroom's entrance drew their attention.

It took a few seconds to reach them, but by then, they could hear a lone, chilling laugh over the cascading silence. Danny could feel the tension in his companions skyrocket as the owner of the laughter sauntered his way towards the elevated rise of the orchestra, his hands held behind his back displaying his leisurely demeanor.

"Joker?" Danny whispered, not actually searching for a response.

"Joker," Tim replied affirmatively. Danny was slightly surprised, as Jason was closer to him and he more expected him to speak up, but a quick glance showed a hatred in his eyes that was probably too consuming to be distracted from.

The Joker leaped jauntily onto the orchestra rise, sending the front row of flutists scrambling in every direction away from him. The rest seemed to move in slow motion as they broke out of their shock and began to flee from the pale man in the purple suit (actually, Danny was surprised by how nice it was). He pulled at his jacket to straighten it, and reached up with one hand to twist the faux flower on his left lapel as he began to speak to the crowd of frightened attendees.

"You know, when I heard there was a gala for the 'high and mighty' who donated money to Gotham, I was _heartbroken_ when i didn't get my invitation. After all, who else here has reinvigorated Gotham's construction economy as much as I have?" The Joker flung out his arms dramatically as he paused, his uncontrollable laugh filling the air once again. Its rise and fall set Danny on edge, and he began to slowly creep backwards behind the cluster of Batkids.

"But enough about me! There's someone here, one of those 'rising internet celebrities' I'm sure we'll all forget about by next week, that I have a bone to pick with." It seemed to defy all logic, but the Joker's grin stretched even wider than before. "Oh Daaaaanny Boy! The Joker's calling!"

* * *

 _This Joker is based off of Mark Hamill's Joker, if that helps with understanding the way I wrote him. Thank you for being so patient and for the constant stream of support that continues to come in. I hope you liked this chapter with this very-long awaited appearance. :)_


	18. No Clowning Around This Time

Of _course_ they had put a bag over his head. Danny was starting to expect every stereotypical thing to happen to him at this point; he had been surprised it had taken this long to reach this point.

He was currently seated in one of those spinning office chairs, but at least his feet were on the ground to keep him from blindly swivelling around. The car ride to wherever he was had at least been in an actual seat as well (there was always the fear of being shoved into a trunk when kidnapped).

The scariest part of this encounter so far had been Selina and the Bat… family's (?) reaction. Batfamily, that's a good term. He had seen Dick and Barbara subtly restrain Jason by the wrists and Bruce had forcefully had to grab Selina by the waist when he had emerged from the throng of guests to face the Joker. He was pretty sure that the kamikaze stiletto that had sailed over the Joker's head had been from her.

Danny clapped as he approached the pale man. "Nice rendition, but unfortunately I'm not Irish," he shrugged. "Maybe use 'Daniel' by Elton John next time?"

The Joker grinned, laughing lowly under his breath. "I'll keep that in mind."

He had tried to look calm as he walked out the main doors with the criminal, studiously ignoring the corner where the Batfamily was and sending an encouraging smile to an old lady who looked close to fainting. This was probably already all over the internet, so hopefully Harley and Ivy would know what was happening. He knew they had put a tracker on him somewhere – he hoped it could withstand this real-world test.

A low chuckle from his… host… regained Danny's attention. He tried to turn his head in the direction it had come from, but the cover was yanked from his head and he blinked quickly as he tried to adjust to the brighter light.

He was in another abandoned warehouse, that was obvious. Of course he was: with the amount Gotham had, every villain probably had their own reserved space for kidnappings and murders alike. The Joker was standing before him, his sleeves rolled up and a chuckle on his lips. His purple jacket was in the arms of the stockier of the two clown mask-wearing henchmen behind him.

"Danny, Danny, Danny," the Joker muttered disappointedly. "You seem to be making quite the rounds! Now, imagine how hurt my feelings were when I wasn't called about my very own fan!" He dramatically pressed a hand against his chest.

"Uh… this very situation is a valid argument of why I didn't."

Joker glared at him for a moment, raising his finger dramatically as it to scold him like a child. "I'll allow it," he grinned, pointing at Danny as if he was giving him a point in a game. He supposed this _was_ some sort of game for him in the long run.

"So…" Danny looked around curiously. His life didn't seem immediately threatened, so he might as well try and figure out why his presence had been 'requested.'

"Envy's a cruel mistress, don't you think?" The Joker saved him from having to come up with a question on the spot. "A one Justine Miller is having a hard time dealing with this… revelation."

Danny failed at keeping the shock off his face as his boss was wheeled out on an identical chair by one of the masked helpers. Nothing was the same about their situation, however. She was duct-taped to her chair around her wrists and chest, and her ankles had been zip-tied together. A bandana was wrapped around her mouth keeping it shut, but her teary wide eyes belayed the screams she couldn't vocalize.

"Why is she here?" Danny cautiously asked after a moment of tense silence had spread between all of them. He didn't see any other way forward.

The dramatic gasp that answered him made him infinitely more wary. "You mean you don't know?" Danny had to keep himself from rolling his chair backwards as the Joker leaned close to his face to scrutinize him. He apparently found nothing of interest and moved over towards Justine instead. "She thought she should try and contact yours truly after a certain someone hung up on her." He pinched her cheek in a playful-esque manner; the desperate squirming of his victim though showed its true intentions.

Her reaction visibly annoyed the clown, and Danny tried to think of ways to get them out of there, but his mind was frustratingly drawing a blank. It didn't matter at this point as the Joker pulled the bandana down from her mouth, letting spill a tattered trail of _please no please please i'm sorry_ 's from his boss.

"Lighten up, sweetheart," Joker grinned, reaching up with his left hand to caress her face. Danny didn't miss him reaching into his pants pocket with his other hand, but before he could react, the Joker had pulled a flower from his pocket and sprayed it in her face. "Let's turn that frown upside down!"

Danny wasn't stupid: he was a Gotham resident, he knew what the Joker's laughing gas did to its victims. Seeing it happen firsthand to his boss was a whole other thing.

Her panicked scream cut off into a wet cough as she inadvertently inhaled the poison. The fear was still clearly present in her eyes as her terrified gaze landed on him, ensuring he could see the full effect. The coughs began to take on sound, melting into a low chuckle and gaining speed. The iconic grin that stretched across her face seemed to defy all anatomical possibilities as she laughed and laughed and laughed… torture didn't have to include beatings to make one wish for death, and by the limpness of her body, Justine was already ready to accept it.

The Joker had noticed it too. "Kids these days. Shorter attention span, shorter torture span – I blame bad parenting and smartphones." He whistled and the tallest of the three masked clown henchmen handed him a pistol. Danny shut his eyes as the Joker emptied a shot into his boss' head.

He tried to ignore her lifeless form as he looked back to the Joker.

"What about the kid?" Danny flatly asked. This was not the time to focus on Justine; she was beyond saving. Hopefully, though… hopefully there was still a child he could bring home safely.

The Joker sighed. "And here I thought we were finally making some progress." He twirled the gun in his hand before aiming it at Danny and beckoning. "Well? Don't just sit there all day!" Danny grit his teeth at his following cackle but followed the order. He stood slowly, unsure if he would be stable, and steadily walked after Joker once he gained his footing. The clown men took up position behind him as they walked into the next room.

Danny hadn't been sure what he expected to find – maybe another broken body – but to his great relief, he could see the boy's breath from where he stood. He was actually still lying in his hospital bed (which he supposed made him easier to kidnap) and seemed to be asleep. Regardless of his safe appearance, Danny still flinched when the Joker moved over to stroke the boy's blond hair as if he were an interesting new pet.

"Little Sean here was diagnosed with schizophrenia," the clown explained with a dark chuckle underlying his words. "He thought I'd be the only one who'd understand what it was like to misunderstood and seen as a monster!" He paused his movement, finally letting out a full laugh. "He asked for more than he could handle."

"What do you want from him?"

"With him?" The Joker echoed, an eerie grin once again settling on his face. "Nothing! In fact," he took a step back and spread his arms wide, "you can have him. Think of it as my gift to him."

 _Oh, this is most certainly a trap,_ Danny thought as he cautiously made his way over to the bed and bent to scoop Sean into his arms. Whatever the Joker had knocked him out with at least made the kid easier to carry, and for that he was grateful. Dealing with a squirming, terrified child would've made this ordeal a whole lot scarier than it already was. Holding the boy bridal style, he turned questioningly to the Joker, unsure if he was actually allowed to leave with the hostage.

"Go on!" His capturer merely ordered, shooing them away with his hands.

Danny nodded his head respectfully – despite what the Joker had done, he was at least letting him leave with Sean and that was all that mattered at the moment. He begin to stride back towards the main room, making sure not to jostle the kid in case it woke him up.

"Oh wait!" The Joker called out mockingly from behind him, his voice echoing in the empty warehouse. "I almost forgot my gift to you!"

 _Bang._

 _Of course I wasn't making it out of this unscathed,_ Danny cynically huffed as a searing pain shot through him.

* * *

 _Heh heh... don't worry, you haven't seen the last of Danny :) Thanks for all the feedback, I'm amazed so many of y'all like this story! I hope I did the Joker justice. Next update should be coming sooner this time, promise._

 _Edit: GUYS THE STORY IS NOT OVER OKAY! Also, I'm sorry if you came into this expecting a crack fic. I model much of my plot after the original Tumblr prompt (including this encounter) because I liked it and wanted to see it applied to the DC Universe. In that prompt, it was insinuated the kid die in this event. I decided to avoid this because I felt it was out of character and too dark, plus it would not further my plot I have planned. I am sorry if you don't like the mood of this chapter, but I can't take all the credit for it in this case._


	19. What Doesn't Kill You-

The tang of blood filled his mouth as he grit his teeth together, cursing the fact that he had initially bit down on his tongue when he was shot. His grip on the young boy was probably going to leave some bruises too, but at least he hadn't dropped him as the bullet tore through his right leg.

He didn't dare look down, knowing he'd see blood coating his right leg and leaving a trail behind him as he limped towards the door. This kid, Sean, needed to be brought to safety, and seeing as he was the only available option, collapsing and curling up in a ball wasn't a choice. Danny blinked rapidly as tears blurred his vision, but continued to drag his feet forward one step at a time.

The Joker's laugh echoed around him, matching the ebb and flow that was beginning to overtake his vision. Reality was toying with him by moving the exit closer before yanking it miles away again, across a swaying sea of concrete floor.

 _Just a bit further, a little bit longer,_ a small voice encouraged. _You can save him!_

Danny looked out of the corner of his eye to where he thought the speaker would be standing and almost tripped out of shock. "Melody?" A part of him knew logically it couldn't be Ivy's wisher, she was dead _dead dead_ and yet he swore by any and all gods that the ebony-haired girl was there in the warehouse with him.

Whatever further he wanted to say didn't matter: her image abruptly vanished as his current step sent him staggering into the brighter outside world. They were out.

Exhaustion settled over his shoulders as he conceded to himself that being out didn't mean Sean was safe yet. He started to trudge forward again, slowly scraping a path among the dirt and scarce grass that made up the empty lot surrounding the warehouse. None of it seemed familiar in his weariness, but maybe it explained why the Sirens hadn't come calling so quickly this time.

It was hard to tell how far he had made it before his legs gave out from under him and sent him and the little boy tumbling to the ground. He heard an anguished cry come from somewhere nearby, but it took him several heartbeats to realize the sound came from him. The pain in his leg had increased, probably due to him landing on a rock. He still tried to drag himself towards Sean's unconscious form, but he was too weak at this point. The ragged breaths he was taking alone left him tired.

He might've blacked out for a few seconds – or a few minutes, he didn't know anymore – but his eyes fluttered open as he felt himself being turned over. A blurry green and blue form appeared to be standing over him, and something was glinting metallically just out of sight.

"Is-" _gasp-_ "Sean'kay?" He desperately asked, reaching out blindly and clenching the draped fabric his fingers brushed against.

"The child is fine, Johnson," a deep voice said. "Rest now."

With a relieved sigh, Danny didn't fight the darkness that enveloped him.

* * *

Wonder Woman caught his head as it dropped limply, keeping him from hitting it against the rocky surface beneath him. "He is very brave." She glanced up towards Selina, who nodded in agreement at the Amazon's words even though her eyes were trained on the enraged figures of the other Sirens as they yelled at Batman.

"-and you ain't the boss of me, Batsy!" Harley was shouting, pushing her index finger challengingly against Batman's chest. "I got more right than the rest've yah to beat the puddin' outta that clown!"

"And I _told_ you, the Joker already left," he growled back. "You're more than welcome to leave your friend and chase after him."

"Danny wouldn't mind," Ivy hissed. "Come on, Harls."

As the pair stalked off to form their own little huddle, Selina turned her gaze back on Danny and crouched next to him. "Did Joker do anything other than shoot him?"

"It does not appear so." Martian Manhunter rumbled.

Wonder Woman's eyes narrowed in thought as she evaluated Danny's bloodied leg. "He has lost a lot of blood…" Setting his head on the ground, she was then free to reach out and rip the thigh of his pants apart, exposing the through and through wound. "That would explain it," she muttered grimly. "We should transport him to a hospital."

"No," the three glanced at Batman as he walked over to them. "We'll teleport him to the Watchtower. You and Manhunter get the kid to a hospital," he nodded at Wonder Woman.

Neither Leaguer argued, and after Wonder Woman had passed Danny's limp body to Batman, Manhunter telekinetically lifted Sean and the two heroes took off flying back into the city with the child.

* * *

" – and why exactly are they here again?"

 _Snort._ "You try telling them no."

Danny hadn't opened his eyes yet and it was already too bright. He tried to pinch them shut tighter and ignore the hushed voices in the room, but a chuckle from one of the speakers let him know he was found out. With a sigh and a groan, Danny cracked one eye open. "Can't a guy get some beauty rest around here?"

"Not when you interrupt my supposed-to-be-boring night by getting kidnapped and shot," Jason retorted from where he was lounging against the doorframe.

Danny shrugged, but the movement made him jostle his right leg slightly and send an ache throughout it. In an attempt to distract himself from the pain, he finally looked around at the room he was in.

To his left was a glass window that opened up to a gray hallway (not much to be learned from there), and the door was next to it. Jason stood on the opposite side of the room from his bed, and a red haired man in a hoodie sat in a chair beside the vigilante. Around his bed were four more chairs: one was empty, but the three Sirens were fast asleep in the others. To his amusement, Selina's legs were stretched out so her feet could rest on Harley's lap, and Ivy's head was tipped over the back of her seat with her face tilted towards the ceiling. (Lord knows how she managed to sleep in such an uncomfortable position.)

"Batgirl hacked the system to let Ivy and Harley in here, and Selina came with you," the red-headed man snickered. "Set off quite a few alarms."

"What, because the hospital didn't expect them?"

Danny did _not_ like the conspiratory glance his two visitors shared. "That's a good way to put it, Johnson," Jason smirked. Now he knew something was definitely up, but seeing as he felt too tired to deal with it, he put any suspicions on the back burner for later.

"How long have I been here?" He decided on asking. The IV pricking at his hand kept him from gesturing around them. "And who are you again?"

Jason gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. "Have you really forgotten about _me_ and our wonderful friendship? Oh, the cruelty of it al-"

Danny rolled his eyes while the other man jabbed Jason in the side. "I'd say 'A for effort,' but that was only worthy of a C+ at best." He turned back to face Danny and gave him a casual salute with two fingers. "I'm Roy, aka the best assassin for hire in all of Gotham –" he studiously ignored Jason's annoyed muttering at that statement "– and you've been out for about 13 hours. Of course, during that time the Sirens managed to round up quite the assembly of criminally-inclined and leave a very beaten Joker zip-tied to the Arkham gates. Hilarious, really. It's trending right now." Roy pulled his phone out of his hoodie pocket and shook it gleefully.

Danny lay in stunned silence for a moment. They did all that for him?

"You're trending too, by the way," Jason added. Danny knew that Jason was just bringing this up to mess with him, and to his chagrin it was working. "'Hero citizen saves child from Joker,' all that jazz. Starting to call you a 'villain wrangler.' And your name's a hashtag now."

"Great. Thanks, Jason," he sarcastically drawled, sinking deeper into his pillow. Lovely. Now he was an internet celebrity. Hopefully he'd be quickly forgotten after his five seconds of fame.

"Hey, I could always raise my voice just enough to wake up the Sirens…"

Danny laughed finally at the blatant threat. "If you want to be on the receiving end of some very cranky and exhausted women, be my guest!"

"He'd still be better off than you: at least we're not the ones about to get told off by the big shots," Roy grinned, nodding his head toward the window. It took a minute for them to walk into Danny's line of sight, but Roy was right. The three founding members of the Justice League seem to have found out he was awake (goddamn heart monitor) and were paying him a visit.

This was something he did _not_ want to deal with alone. "Ivy, Harley mixed hair dye into your natuRAL SHAMPOO AGAIN!"

(While very effective at waking up the Sirens, perhaps not the best method while in a cramped hospital room, unless one does not include the heart monitor that was collateral damage.)

* * *

 _Hopefully you'll appreciate this cliffhanger over the last one! (This isn't the end of the story don't worry). I think there will be one more chapter to wrap this up before Danny starts taking on new villains. Thanks for sticking around so long! Hope you enjoyed this one._


	20. -Traps you in a Hospital Bed

Danny was awfully glad the heart monitor had been shoved into the wall during his impromptu wake up call for his roommates, otherwise it would embarrassingly show that his heart had currently stopped.

He was in _space._ Not just space, but a floating space station for superheroes.

(Danny wasn't sure if he was alive anymore.)

Apparently, neither was Harley, as she rubbed her knuckles roughly against his sternum, drawing an annoyed cry from him. "What was that for?"

She shrugged innocently. "Doctor trick. Just checkin' in that you didn't… check out." She grinned at her pun, ignoring the sighs from the Gotham residents in the room.

"Harley, enough." The order from the Dark Knight was enough to shut the blonde up, but a few lingering giggles did escape. "This is no time for jokes," the Batman continued, glaring at the Gothamite occupants of the room. "We need to decide what to do with Johnson and where to go from here."

Danny stared at the man blatantly. "Well, hopefully we'll leave me in this bed for a while…" He sighed when no one even snickered at his weak attempt of a joke. "Hey, I've known shit for weeks and haven't said a thing about Wonder Woman!" The Amazon merely shrugged when Batman turned his masked gaze on her.

"Bruce, really. He's proved he is worthy of spirit."

"Spirits can be broken." Batman rumbled. "And don't call me that."

Jason's groan rang out from the back corner of the room. "Dude, we literally all know your 'secret identity.'"

"Jason."

"Sorry."

"You're not staying with your stupid company," Ivy brought up, focusing idly on a slowly twisting vine circled around her arm. Danny knew this was one of her anger-coping strategies, and was proud of her for holding back as much as she was. "We found your boss inside the building. Clearly, there was no sense of control in there."

"How about we make you affiliated with the League? It puts a level of protection on your back," Superman suggested.

Danny was already shaking his head. "No. You realize most of the people I'm trying to find absolutely hate your hero group, right?" Danny was _not_ willing to have the reins taken away from him. Meeting with the heroically… _disinclined_ was important to these kids. He understood that they were responsible for some truly terrible things in some instances, but the few moments they spent with sick kids was all Danny cared about. "I'm not running a 'protect-villains-from-heroes' outfit, but I'm also not about to team up with the Justice League on this either. They'd all be out to get me, and honestly? I don't want you guys controlling me either. I'm good on my own."

Danny fell silent, breathing heavily. He hadn't been speaking loudly, but his mini-speech had managed to exhaust him. All the excitement had distracted him from his injuries, but now that the slight burst of adrenaline had worn off, he was aware of every ache in his body. Evidently, his pain wasn't hidden well in his expression.

"Alright, everyone out," Batman ordered, stepping away from Superman and Wonder Woman to clear a path to the exit. "Johnson's had enough for now." He crossed his arms as they and the Gothamites left, with each calling out a version of _feel better soon!_ as they passed by Danny. "Harley, you too."

Harley hadn't moved from her chair next to Danny. "Aw, come on, Bats. Yah can't kick the doctor out of the patient's room!"

"You're a psychiatrist, Harley, not a medical doctor," Batman deadpanned. His correction didn't seem to bother her, because she merely shrugged and patted Danny on the head before skipping out of the room. Danny tried not to laugh when she popped her head back in just to stick her tongue out at Batman.

The door slid shut behind her, and the click it made sounded as loud as a gong to Danny in the quiet room. "I assume there's something you wanted to say alone to me?" He asked the Dark Knight as he strode closer.

"Tell me," he began lowly, "if you're not staying with your company, then how are you going to continue fulfilling these wishes?"

Danny winced and let out a weak chuckle. "I hadn't thought that far ahead yet."

"Then you're being reckless. You're a scout and liaison, you're forgetting all of the vetting and compiling of actual cases that comes before you, not to mention fundraising and advertising. This is not a one person job."

Danny lay his head back on his pillow. It was easier to stare at the ceiling when faced with the problems of his fleeting plan. "Any suggestions?" It took him a few seconds to force the words out under his fresh wave of tiredness (definitely due to his IV, he was sure someone had drugged him when they saw his pain rise and for that he was grateful).

"Wayne Enterprises will be buying "World of Wishes" and donating to its budget as Bruce Wayne's latest philanthropic move. Your next 'boss' is going to be heavily pre-screened… though I think we both know you've been running solo for the most part anyways. Here's your chance. Don't mess this up."

Danny tried nodding his head, but it didn't matter. Batman was already walking out of the room by the time his eyes shut.

* * *

At first, Danny had been ecstatic to be released from the Watchtower. He was okay with heights, but he was firmly of the belief that space was not for him.

Then once he got home, he realized that besides being back on Earth, there wasn't much difference between the two situations. There was always someone keeping watch on him, or fetching him an item, or hovering around when he hobbled on crutches. If they had the chance, Danny was sure that the Sirens would bubble wrap him.

On top of that, he seemed to have a rotating schedule of well-wishers (read: babysitters for when the Sirens were busy). He was considering giving Jason and Barbara their own keys at this rate, especially since Jason had broken two of his locks. At least the ginger had the decency to pick it open each time.

If those two were absent, then there was always at least one person present to keep an eye on him. Jason's friend Roy made an appearance one day armed with bag full of poker chips (Danny had lost miserably), Wonder Woman had stopped by with a plate of cookies (that was a surprise), he had beat Cheshire at three games of chess, and someone had left a handmade "get well soon" card signed with the name "Zoe Lawton."

In other words, he was _completely_ stir-crazy and ready to be an independent, functioning adult once again.

Two more days, and he'd be free. The first thing he was doing was taking a child's case as far from Gotham as possible.

* * *

 _College is tiring. Thanks for sticking around and for 340k+ views! More to come as soon as I can. I've got a list of the next few villains, but would love to hear more suggestions. Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. -Archer_


	21. Riddle Me This

What is always on its way here but never arrives?

* * *

Since the fates apparently hated him, Danny's first case back on the job was not outside of Gotham.

"Riddle me this, Johnson, what belongs to you but is used by others?"

Danny was ready to purposefully crash the car if it meant an escape from the constant stream of words flowing from the Riddler's mouth. It was like dealing with a kid on a sugar high, just a continuous babble that never stopped. He wasn't even registering the words anymore.

" _My patience,"_ he hissed lowly, answering his riddle but not with the answer he knew Nygma wanted.

Thank god Danny could drive with one hand, because his other hand was now clenched onto that damned cane of Nygma's after the man had tried to poke him with it. "Try me," Danny hissed, sparing a second to glare at the Riddler with narrowed eyes.

Riddler slouched back in the passenger seat. "You're as much fun as Bats."

Danny rolled his eyes. This was quickly feeling more and more like a babysitting gig. He wanted nothing more than to ignore the snide remark, but he'd be lying if he said it didn't affect him at all. Being cooped up for so long had definitely worn his patience down, and he was very aware that being this bitchy meant he now acted _very_ similar to Batman. It wasn't something he was proud of, but there were worse things he could be compared to.

"I'm touched, really," Danny replied flatly as he pulled the car into the parking garage. He was surprised he made it the entire trip without exploding. "Do you remember the rules?" They were not going to step foot inside until Danny knew Nygma was going to behave. It wasn't that he was incredibly dangerous or anything, but the criminal was a loose cannon, and as much as Danny hated to admit it, he was not anywhere near healed yet.

"Yes, yes, I know: no scavenger hunts, no unsolvable riddles, no explicitly criminal activity– we've been over this." To his ire, the Riddler had already opened the door and climbed halfway out before he had even fully stopped the car. "Let's go, Johnson!"

Danny sighed as he rushed to follow after the eccentric man. Nygma was one of the few that insisted on wearing their entire costume, and his green suit certainly drew attention as they walked into the building, no matter how normal this routine had become. He tried to ignore the flashing phone cameras as the passed through the Children Hospital's lobby, knowing that his movements were now being followed by thousands online. Despite knowing that the Justice League (read: Batman) was monitoring everything that was posted, it still unsettled him.

Today they were here to talk to a young cancer patient who had recently lost his eyes in preventative surgery. His new lack of vision hadn't stopped the boy's passion for reading, and that's why Edward Nygma had been requested to read aloud the next few chapters from some popular young adult mystery series. Danny honestly wasn't sure which of them was more excited for today.

"Mr. Riddler! I've got the book picked out already!" A happy voice called out once the two of them finally found the hospital room they were looking for.

Danny and Nygma both peered curiously at the boy sitting in the hospital bed as they entered his room. "Well done, Harrison," Nygma grinned as he clapped. "But how did you know it was me?"

The boy tilted his head more accurately in their direction, allowing them to better see the bandages over where his eyes had been. "Easy," he chirped cheekily, "I've been saying that to everyone who's walked in this morning."

"I have billions of eyes, yet I live in darkness," the Riddler began as he made his way over to an empty seat next to Harrison's bed. "I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes. I have no muscle, yet I rule two hemispheres. What am I?" He poked at the boy's leg with his cane.

"Two hemispheres, four lobes– that's a brain!"

"Correct!" Nygma leaned back in satisfaction. Danny knew that he respected intellect similar to his own, which is why he so enjoyed going after Batman. The wittiness of this kid had definitely raised his expectations of the visit. "And you've got a particularly clever one. Now, what'll we be reading on this fine day, Mr. Harrison?"

The two of them were clearly going to be fine on their own, and so Danny pulled a chair next to the door and sat down as well. There was no reason he couldn't enjoy the story, too.

* * *

What is always on its way here but never arrives?

* * *

The Riddler had read four chapters– maybe five, Danny wasn't sure, they were long and blended into each other– before the criminal and child patient had begun a heated debate about who really was the traitor in the book's boarding school. There were lots of hand gestures, Harrison had come close to accidentally slapping Nygma in the face with his movements, voices were raised passionately, and a nurse who was checking in stopped by to comment that he hadn't been this lively in weeks.

All of that had come crashing to a halt with Harrison abruptly paused and muttered, "My head hurts," before collapsing back limply onto the bed. The nurse rushed forward to check his vitals while shouting "CODE BLUE!" into her radio. Danny vaguely knew what a code blue was, and as Harrison started to shake, his assumption was confirmed. He grabbed Nygma– who hadn't moved– by the arm and dragged him out of the room just as a number of medical personnel flooded in.

"He'll be okay," Danny said as they both collapsed against the opposite wall in the hallway. He knew the words were empty (because he had no idea if the boy was alright) but with how tightly Nygma's hand was clenched around his cane, he felt the need to say something to help.

"What is always on its way but never arrives?" The Riddler whispered after the two had stood in silence for several minutes, waiting for the majority of the doctors and nurses to emerge from Harrison's room. He looked at Danny with a haunted shadow in his gaze. "Something tells me you've encountered this dilemma many times before."

Danny looked away from him, trying to fight back tears that threatened to leak free. "Tomorrow," he answered lowly. "Tomorrow never arrives for some of these kids."

"And for Harrison?"

Danny didn't answer at first. How could he answer? They didn't know what was going on in that room. "He will," he finally answered. "He'll make it," he repeated, this time with some strength to his voice.

* * *

By some miracle, Danny was right. They'd waited 15 more minutes before Harrison's door had opened, and by the relieved expressions on everyone's faces, he was going to be alright. A nurse had ushered them both back in to see for themselves while the boy was still awake, and Danny had watched Nygma lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder and promise to come back the next day to continue reading.

"We have many more tomorrows to finish reading," Nygma had said, and Harrison's smile back made Danny's day.

* * *

 _To the many of you that have asked for the Riddler: it took me a few years but he's finally here! Thanks for the continued reviews and views, glad y'all enjoy it as much as I do._


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